“When I grow up I want to be…”

by Heather Spring {Gilion}

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you “grew” up?

Me? “Dad, I want to be a country-western singer just like Crystal Gayle! And I want to be a body-builder that works part-time at Piccadilly.” (Loooong hair, bulging biceps, and mashed potatoes! What little girl doesn’t dream those kind of dreams?!)

Here’s what I would have looked like if my dreams would’ve become reality!

whenIgrowup copy

Scary!

I’m so glad that God knows best. His dreams for us are so MUCH BETTER than what we dare hope for. Did you know that God is a good writer? Yep, He writes the best stories!

He’s written me into His Story. And by His extravagant grace, I’m still learning and growing and changing.

Today, my story continues…

I’ve been wife.
I’ve been cleaner-upper.
I’ve been school lunch preparer.
I’ve been soccer mom.
I’ve been runner.
I’ve been nurse.
I’ve been cook.
I’ve been referee.
I’ve been writer.
I’ve been friend.
I’ve been not-so-good friend.
I’ve been procrastinator.
I’ve been the tickle monster.
I’ve been a light.
I’ve been a stumbling block.
I’ve been a sister.
I’ve been a servant.

And that’s just today.

We wear many different hats. Some we gladly wear, others we take off as quick as we can.

But over the last 13 years I’ve stepped into a couple roles that I NEVER dared to dream. I’ve come to realize that they were dreams that were dreamed for me, before the beginning of time… dreams too wild, too beautiful. Chapters written before my parents first held me in their arms and said, “She should be called Bubba.”

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. (Ephesians 3:20 MSG)

God has directed my steps and I’ve strived to follow Him as He whispers to my heart where to go next.

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. (Isa. 30:21 ESV)

It’s not been easy. I’ve said “yes” reluctantly. I’ve said “yes” when I wanted to say “no!” I’ve been scared. I’ve trembled. I’ve questioned whether or not I heard Him right. I’ve begged Him for different dreams! But if you’re not (at least a little) scared, you’re not following hard after Him. Because He calls us to do things that are BEYOND us! To accomplish in us and through us, things that are not in our ability to accomplish. Works that can only be traced back to someone BIG ENOUGH to pull them off.

Don’t hear me wrong. It’s not that I think I’ve “arrived” by the world’s standards, but I have arrived in this perfect storm of where my insufficiencies pair with His divine Story to make Himself known by using a simple, willing jar of clay.

A couple of years ago, I was invited to speak at a University to college students, professors, and their local community about how I came to write Dancing On My Ashes. As the kind, complimentary emcee of the evening’s event announced me as an author and speaker, I started laughing. Yes, out loud. And I was looking around like an idiot wondering who else was laughing with me. But no one was. I quickly composed myself, but in all honesty, I have those moments ALL THE TIME! The reason: I never dreamed of this.

I never constructed a dream board.
I didn’t meditate my way here.
The fact is God dreamed this for me. He accomplished this. I cannot boast or brag. I just said yes and have been obedient.

I understand my role in this process. I am nothing without Him. But He equips me. He gives me the knowledge, the ability, and this fire in my bones to stand and live this thing out. I can now look back and see the hand of God training me and leading me toward these things.

I don’t know what the rest of my life looks like—but He does. And that’s good enough for me. He has placed vision upon my heart. New visions. Am I scared? Yes! But that healthy fear makes me press into Him all the more. My faith has grown over the years and my yeses come more easily and quickly. He will continue to guide me. I’m confident of that.

A Word for the dreamer:
• God will never give you a dream that contradicts His Word.
• If you sense He’s leading you to do something and you keep saying “no” to Him, because you’re just plain scurred: You are missing out! AND others are missing out! He doesn’t have to use you… He wants to! Take a step of faith. Will you trust Him?
• Stop living in self-preservation mode. Stop holding too tightly to what you are dreaming for your life?
• Be encouraged. Be brave. His way is so much grander than yours.

“Be Strong and courageous.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV)

1. Is there something you feel like He’s leading you to do?
2. If you sense this is from God, what are you going to do about it?

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