Heather asked me a very important question

April 30, 2014April 30, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 2 Comments

{by Heather Spring Gilion}

Here’s me and my friend Heather. I met her a couple of years ago at our church. When we learned that both of our names were Heather, we were instantly connected. EVERY Sunday when we see one another we do our little thing, “Hi, Heather.” “Hi, Heather.” And then we hug and giggle. I LOVE this girl!

At our women’s retreat she came over to me and asked me a very important question. With her hand propped on the back of my chair and the other playing with her hair, she stood tall and asked, “Does Dallas treat you like a lady?” With confidence I could answer, “Why, yes. Yes, he does!” I said, “Why do you ask?”

“Well, Charlie treats me like a lady.”

“And who’s Charlie? Your boyfriend?

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s good. How long have you been dating Charlie?”

“Ten years.”

“Wow, that is a LONG time, Heather! So, how does he treat you like a lady?” I asked.

“He opens the car door for me. He puts my seat belt on for me. When we’re walking into a building, he opens the doors for me.”

“Woah…woah… woah… HOLD ON! Charlie puts your seat belt on for you!?! Now, Dallas doesn’t do that for me!” I told her the next time I got in the car I was going to wait until he put my seat belt on for me. It sounded very flirtatious.

Here I am waiting!

“If you love me, buckle me, buddy!” Ladies, it’s actually very romantical 😉

This little conversation has stuck with me. Here are some take-aways that I’m now sharing with you.

1. I’m thankful for Heather… and all the people that the Lord has allowed me to live life with. There is so much we can learn from one another! I need you. You even need me. We need one another.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10: 24 & 25

There is so much we can glean from one another. I love seeing our Creator’s creativity displayed through smiles and eyes and laughs and hugs and tears and hands. Don’t miss the moments of beauty all around you today! Ask God to give you eyes to see His handiwork displayed in the people that are all around you. Do you see how genius our God is? There is no one like Him! As cheesy as this sounds… you are you-nique! There is no one walking around on this entire planet that is just like you. Your fingerprints, your DNA, your soul is specific to you and only you! {Even if you are an identical twin… you are set apart and uniquely different.}

If you’re engaged in a conversation with me and I start smiling and you didn’t say anything funny, I’m not laughing at you, I promise! I’m enjoying moments of His reflection displayed through your adorableness. For you were made in the image of our God! And to see glimpses of His reflection is stunning and breathtaking. Scroll back to the top of this page… look at Heather! Aren’t her eyes glorious!?! And that smile! She’s always smiling, friends. She is generous with her hugs and hands them out like she’s the richest person on the planet. May we be so generous with our affection and our love toward one another!

The other take-away I gleaned from my convo with Heather:

2. Let your hubby buckle your buckle now and then. And offer to buckle his buckle. That’s sounding more like an innuendo than I’m meaning it to, but however you’re supposed to hear it, HEAR IT! May we find ways to serve and love our spouses in unexpected ways. Hey, wives! I’m speaking to YOU on the other side of the screen there: let’s love our husbands and treat them less like our employees or roommates and more like men that are loved and respected. May we strive to look for ways that send this message loud and clear. It’s so easy to get caught up in the tasks at hand and miss showing real love. I get that you’re busy! I’m busy. He’s busy. We’ll probably always be busy. But how do we weave love and respect through everything we do? In the way we speak, in how we go about marking tasks off our to-do lists, in how we talk to him on the phone, in how we delegate tasks, or how we partner and parent in our home, and how we respond when we’re tired or had a hard day or are on our beloved time of the month. {EEK!} It’s easy to be selfish. It takes work to be selfless. Oh the beautiful things that arise when we love with no strings attached! When we give a back rub without the promise of one in return. Oh to care MORE for another than you care about yourself. {Ouch! I’m stepping on my own toes, here!} It’s when I let the hugs linger and when I don’t rush to look away from his gaze, that I see… I see this human being that I’ve vowed to love and cherish, to be true to, to uplift and support, to frustrate and challenge (*wink* – God’s on a mission to make him more like himself, people… and He uses me!), and most importantly to respect and show selfless love as God has shown to me and equips me.

God, may You give me eyes to really SEE my man! May You show me how to love him the way You designed me to. May You continue to teach me how to speak his love language; how to pray for his heart, mind, and soul; and remind me to join him in the war for the purity of our home. Thank You for the grace that covers my failures as a wife, and the generous gift of Your very Spirit that leads me to even know how to love. For I can only offer love when I first understand Your love for me. May I serve him and accept the ways he serves me.

That’s all I’ve got today. I hope you’ve been encouraged today!

Buckle up! Loving one another is a bumpy ride!

{Story5} A Journey to Adoption: “I would not change a thing”

March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 4 Comments

Through the month of March, we’re going to do a series called “This is my story, this is my song.” There are personal journeys of hope, victory, courage, and redemption that you need to hear!

I (Heather) am about to introduce you to someone very, very special. She is not only my pastor’s wife—but my friend. She is one of those women in my life that I love watching. She makes serving and loving her husband, her children, and her church family, look easy peasy. She’s probably the first face you’d see greet you if you were to visit Lifepoint; with her welcoming smile and sweet southern accent, she invites you into the family. This lady juggles a great deal with ease and smiles as she strives to abide in Christ. I joke with her that on days I have too much to do, I whisper to myself “What would Christin Harrison do?” {So, for all you momma’s with growing “To do” lists, the “WWCHD?” bracelets will be made available soon! heehee}

Maybe I’ll have her share some of her organizational secrets in another post… but for now, you’ve got to hear a piece of her journey that led she and her husband, Lane, to adoption.

So, have you ever wondered what it would be like to write a letter to your past self? What advice would you offer? I asked Christin what she would tell her 20-year-old self about the journey “past-Christin” was about to embark on. I know this will encourage hearts… and maybe, just maybe, cause you to write your own letter. What would you say?

Here’s Christin’s letter…

_____

Dear Christin,

So you are about to get married. You have so many exciting days ahead as you look towards your future and all that the Lord has in store for you and Lane. You may think the future is going to be easy, fun, romantic, full of wonderful adventures… and at some points in the journey, it will be. But oh how the Lord has an adventure set before you that you can’t even begin to imagine.

On your journey, you are going to experience your first hardship even before your wedding can happen. At a routine doctor’s appointment, you are going to find out that you have two eight-pound tumors inside that have to come out immediately. But this surgery will not be your last. Five more will come your way during the first seven years of being married, which will even result in a hysterectomy at the young age of 28. It is going to hard. Painful. You will think that you can’t endure the pain your body goes through, the emotional toil that it takes on your spirit, and the sadness that seems to take root in your soul. But you know what? You will endure—the Lord will give you His strength. You will grow in your walk with the Lord during these years. The weeks, even months, of quiet recovery will be times of growth in your love for Jesus. The Lord will be your Great Physician and you will learn to trust Him with your health. Your marriage will be strengthened from the very beginning when you are just newlyweds. You will learn that Lane loves you unconditionally—no matter what—and those years will be what build the foundation that keeps your marriage strong in the future.

During these same years, you and Lane will be praying and planning to have a family. Doctors will tell you that there is a chance to conceive a baby with the small, one-third ovary that you have left before, but eventually, that has to come out too. Those months of hoping that you will find a positive sign on a pregnancy test will come and go and the disappointment will be there with each negative found. But over time, the Lord is going to do something in your heart. You and Lane will feel the Lord leading you to adopt…EVEN while it may physically be possible to get pregnant. That fact alone will shock many people. They will wonder why you would abandon your desire to get pregnant. That desire will not leave, but instead, your desire to be a mom to a child that is already somewhere in this world will be greater than the desire to wear maternity clothes. You will gladly exchange those maternity clothes for traveling clothes and trade the big belly for a big three-ring binder of adoption paperwork.

You know those children of whom you have always dreamed? They are going to come from two different parts of the world! You, Christin, the girl who loves to be home and is not a big fan of risks, are going to board a plane and travel to Russia to become a mom for the first time. You will be scared. You will wonder if this child will love you. You will wonder if you will have a “motherly instinct” without giving birth to this child. And in one split second, at the very moment you see and hold your baby for the first time, these fears will vanish. Instantly. This little blonde haired, green eyed, malnourished, eight pound, six-month-old little boy will change you forever. You will no longer wonder what it is like to be a mom. You will now know that there is nothing like it. This boy will be kind, tenderhearted, love you and all his family, and be filled with a desire to learn about everything. But most of all, he will love Jesus and serve Him and others faithfully.

The day will come again for you to become a mom for the second time. This will be the result of many prayers. Not only those prayed by you and Lane, but also by your precious two-year-old son who wants to have a sister. He will pray faithfully for her. The Lord is going to answer those prayers and be the Provider of all the details involved in this adoption as well. Once again, you will board a plane for yet another country, this time to the country of Guatemala. It is there that you will meet your princess! The moment you see her, your heart will overflow with love. That motherly instinct that you no longer worry about, will abound for this precious child. Just like her brother, this curly, brown haired, brown eyed, petite, six-month-old little girl will transform you. This little one will be caring, filled with love for people, and will want every day to be a party! And like her brother, she will love Jesus from an early age, which will enable her to love others even more than she loves herself.

So, dear Christin, when the road that you travel gets tough, don’t lose hope! The Lord is in control of your life. Just release your grip on anything else but Him. At times, it will be hard and you will want to change His plan—or even give up! But the Lord will be faithful. Trust Him. His desires for you will become your desires. He will take your worries, your sadness, even the pain, and turn it into complete joy. You will wonder if it will all be worth it. Looking back, in complete confidence, I say, “YES!” I would not change a thing—nothing. Nothing. Just like Isaiah 55:8-9 says, ’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’ (ESV) That is the truth. His ways and His plans are far better than anything we could ever conjure up.

Love,
Christin

____

If you are new to this blog, follow Holly and Heather by clicking the “follow” button at the top of the screen!

Read up on their story: here!

And read why they wrote Dancing On My Ashes.

If you want to know more about who God is go here!

I hope you’ve been encouraged today!

{Story3} A Journey of Forgiveness

March 13, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 4 Comments

Through the month of March, we’re going to do a series called “This is my story, this is my song.” There are personal journeys of hope, victory, courage, and redemption that you need to hear!

Holly and I (Heather) are thrilled to share this next story with you! We’ve known Julie for a long time. She was our pastor’s wife for a good part of our growing up years. We even watched her little girls on occasion. {Now I’m feeling old!}

When we began to line up who would share during our “story” series, I couldn’t get Julie off my mind. Her example of forgiving like Christ has wrecked me over the years. Our family has experienced her genuine love and grace first hand. And for us, to have her share, is one of those full-circle moments.

We hadn’t seen Julie for years when the three of us connected once again as we taught at the same women’s retreat. {By the way, if you are looking for a speaker, she’s your gal! Her contact info will be at the bottom.}

This post is beautiful through and through. There is SO much more to her story. So much more! She’s in the process of writing a book and we’ll let you know when it’s out! YAY! But for today, I’ve asked her to share with us what she’s learned about forgiveness…

THIS IS POWERFUL….

A JOURNEY OF FORGIVENESS

by Julie Davenport

What do I know about forgiveness?

Enough to know that it isn’t easy. Enough to know that forgiveness is a process – one that in many ways, I go through each day.

And I know what it’s not.

Like many, I was taught the importance of forgiveness. It was a principle that wasn’t all that difficult, as long as I was in the loving home of my childhood. But as an adult, I have had more reasons to forgive and more years to face its challenges.

When it comes to forgiveness, I’ve lived it, accepted it, given it, and possibly messed it up. Let’s just say I bought the t-shirt and could write the book.

It has been more than 30 years ago, but I will never forget the feeling I had when I first realized forgiveness would be a constant presence in my life. I’ll never forget where I was sitting. The way the air felt.

The feeling that the bottom had just dropped out of my world.

The knowledge that things would never be the same.

My husband, the love of my life, the man that I saved myself for, the only man that I had ever known in the Biblical sense, had just told me he had “known” another woman. Not just any woman. A close friend.

He cried. He was SO sorry. He begged my forgiveness.

God did a healing in our marriage.

I did not believe in divorce. I did, however, believe in forgiveness. He promised it would never happen again. He told me that if I really had forgiven him, I would not talk about it or bring it up.

Yet it did happen again a few years later. He begged my forgiveness again. By then, we had a precious baby girl. We were pastors of a large church. He begged me not to tell.

We went to six months of marriage counseling which resulted in a promise from him that it would never happen again—and a promise from me that if it did, I would leave. We stayed together and had another precious baby girl.

God did another healing in our marriage.

Two years later, he confessed to me that he had been involved in three additional affairs over the period of one year. Once again he begged my forgiveness and wanted to stay together and work it out.

This was more than 20 years ago, but I will never forget the feeling I had. Where I was sitting. The way the air felt.

Something inside me broke. I was done. Done covering up. Done having my heart torn to shreds.

We went through a difficult divorce and years of drama and pain.

So you may ask, what do I know about forgiveness?

{1} I know that forgiveness is not sweeping issues under the carpet. Secrets cause sickness. If not dealt with and brought out into the light, they will continue and grow in the dark.

{2} I know that forgiveness is not feeling like someone owes you or needs to pay you back for how they have wronged you. For years I said that I had forgiven, I gave testimonies about how I had forgiven. However, deep in my heart I was still waiting for the day that my husband would pay me back for all he had stolen from my life. I know now that it is not until we release a person from “owing us” that we can completely forgive them.

{3} I know that the main reason we need to forgive is because Christ forgave us. Forgiveness does not make any sense unless you first realize that you are a forgiven person.

We cannot balance the scales. Forgiveness means the scales are forever out of balance. It means that one person is always going to owe a debt. It’s only when we can forgive the debt that we can heal.

It was only six years ago, when we had both remarried and re-established our lives, when a deep healing came.

As in the other life-altering moments, I will never forget the feeling I had. Where I was sitting. The way the air felt.

I was sitting on the front porch with my first husband, after he had visited our daughters. I shared with him that even though I had made the intellectual decision to forgive him years ago, that it was only recently that I felt I had emotionally forgiven him.

I told him he did not owe me anything. I wanted him to know that I released him to be happy and free in his life. He in turn asked my forgiveness, and this time there was such a feeling of peace. I am so grateful that the Lord allowed us to have this conversation, because he tragically died two months later.

What do I know about forgiveness?

I know that forgiveness allows you to put the pain and hurt behind you, release it, and move beyond the hurt and heal. With all that we have been forgiven in our own lives, how can we not offer forgiveness, love and mercy to those around us?

Julie and her family today!

Publishing rights retained by Julie Davenport. Permission given for one time publication on Dancing On My Ashes blog (March 2014). This article is not to be republished in any other format without express permission.

To contact Julie for speaking engagements (and you’ll want to… she’s witty and kind and deep and funny and warm and all about Jesus):

Email: dgdavenport@sbcglobal.net

Facebook: Julie Perkin Stout Davenport

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If you are new to our blog, follow us by clicking the “follow” button at the top of the screen! Read up on our story of healing: here! And read why we wrote Dancing On My Ashes.

If you want to know more about who God is go here!

I hope you’ve been encouraged today!

{Story2} Burying your baby

March 6, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 2 Comments

Through the month of March, we’re going to do a series called “This is my story, this is my song.” There are personal journeys of hope, victory, courage, and redemption that you need to hear!

The story you are about to read is incredible! I (Heather) met Sarah a little over a year ago. You know how sometimes you meet someone and your friendship takes off? That’s what happened with us—a deep friendship emerged so effortlessly. I have no doubt, God had our paths collide. [Not only are we friends, but we also have a side business together called Story Designs {by S & H} – after you’re done reading… check out the pretty things we make!]

I can’t wait for you to hear from her! I’ve been praying for THIS MOMENT since she first shared some of her journey with me over coffee! Our kids were off destroying the play room as we were wiping tears and smiling over God’s fierce love for us. I KNOW this is going to bless your socks off!

I’m happy to introduce you to Sarah…

♥♥♥♥

by Sarah Lombardi

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him,
How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
O for Grace to trust him more

I have been singing that song all my life, but it wasn’t until this year that I began to understand the joy and fullness of putting my complete trust in Him.

Five years ago, on March 29^th, I went into labor with our second child. We were very excited about welcoming our baby BOY into the family! Earlier that week the doctor told me it could be any day. I was 37 weeks and full term! We gathered our bags and headed to the hospital. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of fear as we drove in. I prayed silently for peace, and as I prayed, it was like I already knew.

Shortly after we arrived, the nurses got me in a room and started hooking me up to monitors. The nurse could see that I was having close contractions, but she was having trouble finding baby. I continued to pray. After what felt like an eternity, she called in the doctor to do an ultrasound. The on-call doctor wheeled in the sonogram machine and placed it right on Miles. It was very clear—Miles had his hands raised and was still. No heartbeat. Just still. The doctor said, “You see this,” pointing to the screen. “This is his heart and its not beating.”

My world… our world… came crashing down.

Tears came.

All I could do was weep.

My husband and I held one another and wept.

After my surgery they brought in Miles Daniel for me to hold. He was in a bassinet, wrapped in a blanket. They had dressed him in a little hat and a zip-up sleeper. He was perfect. Just beautiful. Miles weighed exactly 4 pounds, so he was little, but oh so perfect. I held him and cried. I just starred at him “asleep” in my arms. I took in every detail because I didn’t want this moment to end.

Baby Miles

After the funeral and all the family had gone, it seemed like life had to move forward… but I wasn’t ready to move forward. I prayed day and night, “Lord give me faith to trust this is Your will in my life.”

It’s been a process. It’s been a fight. Grieving takes a toll on you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But as seconds turned into hours, and hours to days, and days to months, and now months to years; through it all the Lord has shown me (and continues to show me) how much HE loves US.

Every step of this journey He. Has. Loved. ME!

HE loved this broken momma who had lost ALL of her joy in the Lord.

HE loved this sad wife who became a negative and selfish spouse.

HE loved me and extravagantly poured His love into my heart—healing me bit by bit.

He showed His love through our family, our church family and friends. He took a mother with a broken heart and made her into a mother with a prayerful heart. The Lord has given me a compassion for the hurting, the weary, and the brokenhearted. He has mended our marriage—taking two hurting, selfish people, and showing us how to live and thrive inside a Christ centered, loving marriage.

These five years have been full of tears, but we have begun to see His beauty rising from our ashes. He brought JOY back into my heart and a song:

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take him at his word
Just to rest upon his promise
Just to know thus saith The Lord

I realized how sweet it truly is to put my trust in Him and to believe what His Word tells me. Not just to hear it—but BELIEVE it! Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.’” I began to put my trust back in Him—my Lord, my Savior! I gave Him my whole heart and my life that was broken and bruised… He has healed it!

Exactly two years after we lost Miles Daniel, the Lord blessed us with our third child—our son, Jones Abraham. Jones was born premature at barely 31 weeks. The Lord knew. He knit him together and knew exactly the day he would be born.

Sarah and Baby Jones

I held my precious, Jones, on the EXACT day we lost Miles, two years earlier. “The Lord gives and takes away…” {Job 1:21}

After naming Jones we found out the meaning of his name: “Jehovah has shown favor.”

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. {Psalm 30:5}

We have questions without answers. There are days that I imagine the five of us sitting around the dinner table. I wonder what Miles’s laugh would sound like or how his arms would feel around me. There will be a day that I experience his giggles and his hugs, but until then, the arms of Christ envelop me. His arms are big enough, strong enough, and firm enough to strengthen this momma for the road ahead. He alone holds me together.

On this road of suffering, I have learned to trust Him. Simply trust. His ways are greater and far better for me! It has been five years and THIS week we will place a stone at Miles’s grave. This year has been a year of freedom and of letting go of heartache. I am ready. WE are ready! “Lord, I trust you!” This stone isn’t for Miles—he is with our Savior! I imagine him dancing along the shore, hand in hand with Jesus! This stone is for mom and dad. We are placing this stone as a reminder: Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!

I will forever sing:

I’m so glad I learned to trust thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, friend.
And I know that thou art with me
Will be with me to the end.

♦♦♦♦♦

If you are new to this blog, check out our STORY and how God taught us about rising from our ashes—not to merely survive, but to dance!

Go here to learn more about the book: Dancing On My Ashes.

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{Story1} What God said to me about my eating disorder

February 27, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 2 Comments

Through the month of March, we’re going to do a series called “This is my story, this is my song.” There’s personal journeys of hope, victory, courage, and redemption that you need to hear! I know, I know, it’s still a few days before March, but I can’t wait to get started!

I (Heather) want to introduce you to someone that’s incredibly precious to me. I met her when she was 15 years old (11 years ago!) I had been invited to her church for the weekend, to be among various teachers with the purpose of pouring into a group of teen girls for 3 days. I instantly was drawn to this young lady. We stayed in contact and as the years grew, so did our friendship. It began as mentor/mentee and now I call her friend. Jess loves Jesus. There’s no doubt about that. I’ve always loved seeing Him through her eyes, but for so long these glimpses of beauty would flicker in and out as I could see a sadness roll in. She was trapped. She wanted to be strong enough to kick her battle with an eating disorder. But she wasn’t.

I’m excited for her to share some of her journey with you today. I’ve been on the sideline, as I’ve witnessed this war raging to ruin her. I’ve watched as she’s blossomed into a strong, independent, expressive, and brave young woman. AND… she’s a rapper! {After you read her story, watch her blow up the mic, yo!}

There’s so much I want to say, but I’m going to let HER tell you. So, without further ado… I introduce you to Jess Guemmer. This is Jess’ story of victory.

by Jess Guemmer

On February 25, 2014, I celebrated one full year of freedom from an eating disorder. I can honestly say I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.

I am a Christian. Christians aren’t supposed to struggle with eating disorders are they? Isn’t that saying that He isn’t enough? That He isn’t all satisfying?

But the truth is, bondage is all I’ve known. For ten years, an eating disorder was my best friend. It was my fix, keeping my inner pain at a minimum. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but I didn’t feel joy at all… I couldn’t—but I also didn’t hurt. The trade-off felt worth it. I was convinced that to walk a joy-less life was far better than dealing with the pain that was at the core of my soul.

After my husband and I moved to St. Louis in May 2012, we quickly got involved with a local church. We made friends: knowing others and being known. Those we were doing life with, began inquiring about us… about me, and it was soon brought to my attention that the way I had been living and wrestling, wasn’t normal, and I needed to seek help. After much resistance and the swallowing of my pride, I finally began therapy, initially treating my eating disorder.

I spent the next nine months doing some intense counseling, much of it geared towards my issues with food and addiction to exercise. However, as my time in counseling progressed, God revealed to me that this eating disorder wasn’t really the root issue. Like an onion, He began peeling back the layers of my heart, working towards the core of my self-protection and self-harm. It was a painful, but a healing journey as I walked through the darkest times of my life, to date.

I remember sitting in the middle of worship on February 20 of last year still wrestling with the Lord. Lots of healing had begun, but my ambivalence with God was still present. I had struggled for nine years to see the victory and freedom that God’s Word promised. I had spent countless days, weeks, and months trying to fix my issues, only to come out angrier on the other side. And in that moment, the word “surrender” flooded my mind.

SURRENDER

It seemed so cliché to me. I was a Christ-following-Bible-study-leading gal, who had shared the Gospel with others, who knew Scripture more than the average person! I knew all of the right answers, dang it! And… the fact was, I wanted to surrender. I just didn’t know how.

I told Him, “God, I want to surrender this, but what if I say that I surrender and nothing changes? Then what? I don’t trust You will come through.”

And God,

in His great love for me,

so gently welcomed my doubts and my lack of faith.

His voice, so powerfully responded, “Jess, You’re not scared to say you surrender because you don’t think I’ll come through; you’re scared to say you surrender because you know I WILL come through and then you will have to give up what you’ve been holding on to for so long.”

I felt like the breath was taken out of me in that moment. I felt frozen—found out. But His words ushered in such clarity. My hang-up wasn’t my mistrust in Jesus, it was my fear to un-clamp my hands and let go of my “friend,” my comfort, the pain-minimizer, the control… my sin.

Three days later, I was sitting on the shore of a beach in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. The vastness of the Atlantic Ocean and the noise of the water crashing into the shore caused my heart to race, as this euphoric feeling washed over me. The same dialogue began with the Lord about surrender. I echoed my same objections and doubts, and God, in His patience and persistence, responded yet again to His child.

I had a visual come to mind that day. I believe, surrender is a picture of one’s hands held out, offering everything to Jesus. But I had been living with one hand held out to Jesus, wanting to follow Him, and one hand held behind my back, still wanting to do life my way.

That day, on February 25, 2013, I sat on the shore of the Atlantic, held both of my hands out to Jesus and said, “Here I am.” I let the waves wash over me and asked God to make me new. I remember saying that I had no idea what my life would look like from that moment on, but I wasn’t going to hang on to my false sense of control anymore. I wanted God to take the reigns… and He did.

One year later, I celebrated with my closest friends and my husband. God has done as He promised.

He reached into the pit and pulled me out.

He has loosened the grip that I had with an eating disorder.

He is redefining my perception of myself.

He is giving me balance and victory with food and exercise.

And… He has given me life.

I stand today as a conqueror. I still fight the battle, but my trust in Jesus has grown. I am no longer a slave to sin!

I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1-3

Are you praying for someone?

January 22, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 2 Comments

by Heather Spring {Gilion}

I’ve heard some of the saddest stories lately. The kind of suffering that you can barely say aloud. I know it’s nothing new that people are hurting… but sometimes the tragic experiences of another leave me in a heap emotionally. A father taking his life while his family is in the home. A toddler raped and now in the arms of Jesus. A grieving widow giving birth to her child without her husband by her side. A friend I’ve spent years praying for, hearing his cancer is growing… again. A dear friend of mine endured a mastectomy. My phone alerting me that there’s an AMBER ALERT nearby. Another email from a widow… and then another. An acquaintance reaching out because she’s walking through a divorce.

I pray.
Or I want to.
Sometimes I don’t know what to say.
I just sit there, teary, saying, “I don’t even know where to begin, Lord.”
I feel like my words can’t say what I want to say.
My words aren’t adequate. “Am I even making sense, God?”

That’s when I feel the groaning in my soul. The words that are beyond me, rising to the One who hears even the deep aches that I can’t put into words.

There’s a real, physical pressure in my chest. My heart seems to weigh too much for my chest to carry.

Sympathy and empathy can be heavy. We “feel” another’s pain, at least a portion of it.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” {Gal. 6:2 ESV}

In my own life I have walked through a season of unbearable pain. For those of you who know me, this is old news, but losing my dad and my sister and I losing our husbands all in the same year almost killed me. But let me tell you, I am a walking testimony of the power of prayer. Family, friends, and strangers wept over my pain. Strangers carried my burdens. Acquaintances dropped to their knees for me. For me?! Family and friends offered up wordless prayers to the One, and ONLY One, that could care for my heart in the darkest season in my life, to date. Thirteen years later, I continue to meet people that “heard” of my story and prayed for me! It’s a very humbling thing to meet a stranger that was so moved by your pain that it drove them to their knees on your behalf. I’m alive today, in part, because of the prayers of others. I’m grateful for the body of Christ that stretches across state lines and oceans to love one another in this way. That is truly a picture of God in us.

Oh, empathy. You are a part of me now. I accept the role you play in my life. I’ll take the weight that pushes down upon my chest, as it reminds me to bow before the cross. Prayer seems like such a small thing, but it’s not. We may say it flippantly, “I’ll be praying for you.” Or comment on someone’s FB status, “I’m praying!” As trite and overused as those words may sound, prayer is probably the sweetest gift you can give to the hurting.

When I hear stories of heartache and brokenness, may I kneel before my God and lay these burdens at His feet. It’s on my knees that I’m reminded of my position in this life—I am not the Messiah. I am not in control and I cannot fix people. I cannot protect others from getting that phone call or that knock on the door, but I can join into their upward groans. I can speak to God on another’s behalf. And with full assurance, even as the tears stream down my cheeks, hope rises. Because I know He is more than enough.

“My God, my hope is anchored in You. You alone are our prize. If we knew what You know, we would pray for these things in our lives. We would. If we understood how much You love us, we would trust You completely. For when we grope in the night, we will find You! And finding You, knowing You, experiencing You is what brings LIFE.

God, nothing happens outside of Your knowledge and Your care, may that not make us angry—but free. You are indeed sovereign and good. We may weep, but may we not lose heart, for in You we can find peace when all is chaos.

Lord, there are times You may seem far away, but You are as near as our skin. Closer still. We can breathe in strength for the moment… each moment. We can wail, we can grieve, and we can cry our little hearts out even for strangers and know YOU HEAR US! Even our wordless prayers. And the best part is, we’re not praying alone—You are praying too.”

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” {Romans 8:26 ESV}

“[Jesus] is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.” {Romans 8: 34b ESV}

How can I pray for you today?

{A song for the grieving believer. Listen and be encouraged!}

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If you are curious about Jesus, go here.

To read more about the book Dancing On My Ashes, or to purchase the book, go here.

New Year’s Resolutions: Being okay with not knowing where you’re going

January 7, 2014 / dancingonmyashes / 11 Comments

by Heather Spring {Gilion}

We’re a week into the new year.

On December 31^st, I asked my husband if we should make any New Year’s resolutions. He thinks they’re dumb. I think they’re kinda fun, but then again I’m a little bit on the competitive side. So mine are really contrived from a game-mentality. When I make a resolution I go through the entire year trying not to lose against myself. On January 1, I glare at myself in the mirror. Threatening myself, “It’s on like Donkey Kong!” Now, the hubs, he’s not competitive by nature. In high school he decided he wasn’t going to play basketball anymore because he just wasn’t “into it,” he had other scholastic aspirations. But what’s one of the first things I hear when someone meets him? “Dude, I bet you played some serious ball in school!” Why? Because he’s tall. He’s so tall when he gets frustrated at me he says, “Don’t make me come down there!” {I’m kidding. I’m kidding. He only says that to the kids.}

So Dallas may not be competitive, but he’s a planner and he’s constant. {He’s also constantly planning, but that’s for another blog.} Like, it’s silly to ask if he’s going to work out or read his Bible or mess around on his guitar or eat oatmeal or give me a hug and kiss when he walks in the house. Or will he call me right when I pour the milk in my cereal? I know the answer to these questions. Of course! He’s constant. He’s my steady-teddy. So, in his mind there’s no need for silly “new year’s resolutions!” If he sees a reason to add something, he adds it. If something needs to be subtracted… done… did it yesterday. “Lasterday” as our four-year-old says.

But for me—change—it takes me a minute. I don’t want to make a promise and not keep it. {Been there, done that.} I weigh the decision—the pros and cons. I have even been known to grieve what I know will be in my best interest. {Like the time I gave up Dr. Pepper. I still meet you in my dreams.} And some “resolutions” I know I’m about to make are not just for a year, but for life. Internally there’s a bit of a fight. I’ve been known to get a little grumpy with those around me when I’m making a change. Change always requires something from us. Time. Learning new habits. Abandoning “ease” to take on a season of planning and structuring for the new. Giving up or giving in or doing away with or adding onto, it all takes work to arrive at a new normal. Sacrifice.

So, my man didn’t engage my “New Year’s Resolution” talk, {I was thinking about giving up almonds, I don’t like them much anyway}, but he came to me with a New Year’s Evaluation List. It was intense. It covered our relationship with God, with one another, with our children, our roles, our jobs, our dreams, our goals, vacation plans, expectations, and much more, because like I said he’s a planner and he’s constant. {Yet another reason I think he’s constantly awesome!} Dallas led us in a time of reflection and discussion and prayerful evaluation as we embark toward what God has for us in 2014. We’re still discussing. The self-evaluation is still happening. But as two very different people, we must come together as one so we can support and encourage one another when distractions and other “good” things tempt to steal from what we know to be our calling.

I’ll spare you all the things that are swirling around in my noodles and give you the “peak” in all my self-evaluation for 2014.
{peak = the thing that is beyond me but that is luring me higher.}

There are some specific questions I’m asking the Lord, regarding my time and what I spend my energy on. I want to be in-line with His will for my life. Desperate for it, really. And I know myself; I can get a bit distracted at times. But this question seems to have become what lingers at the top of this year’s mountain. It’s what’s haunting me and drawing me all at the same time:

Will you go without knowing?

Because I’ve been asking God a lot of questions lately.
“What are You going to do with this?”
“If I do this, how’s it going to end up?”
“What are You going to do with that dream?”
“Am I waaaay off base spending my time on this?”

Will I go without knowing how things will turn out?

Can I? Will I?

God does not tell you what He’s going to do. It’s taken me a long time to get this. I still catch myself asking for the outcome and begging Him to reveal details. But He answers my questions in a very unexpected fashion: He reveals Himself. He shows me WHO He is and surprisingly, with that, my heart is settled and my faith increased as I go out in confidence. Laying down my expectations and my agenda, this is my daily battle. But as I understand more of the character of God, I need not wonder if I’m out here alone. I’m not. I don’t have to fret about the details. I just need Him. I place my ear upon His heart and I listen. I open His Word and I breathe Him in. I hold fast to His still small voice that’s ever with me and I obey. I need to be still and know that He is indeed—GOD. I need to trust when He says, “Hang a left,” that the best way is left. I need not fight to turn right.

When I wake each morning, will I go out? I can re-evaluate. I can make a plan. {And my tall hubby is more than happy to help me make one.} Again, there’s nothing wrong with making a plan. But will I be dependent upon Him, come what may? Will I be flexible, scrapping my plan for His? Will I go and do and be without knowing how this will all play out?

I’m trekking up the mountain, whispering my vow: I will.

I’m Yours.

I’ll go.

I trust You.

I know You are good.

You alone satisfy my soul.

I don’t need to know the how’s or the why’s or the when’s, I just need to, with each step up the mountain, anchor my hope in You. For You, my Lord, will not disappoint.

He alone knows what 2014 holds for me and I’m okay with not knowing… because I know HIM. I will go.

Making Room {Are you celebrating the reason or the season?}

December 10, 2013December 10, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 5 Comments

by Heather Spring {Gilion}

Our Christmas construction paper chain is getting SHORTER! My boys (ages: 6 and 4) love to take turns tearing off a chain link as they jump and dance about:

“Only 17 more days!”

“16 more days!”

“15 MORE DAYS until CHRISTMAS!”

The sad thing is, up until now, every morning as they tear off the paper ring, I feel anxiety rush over me. As they are celebrating, my eyes glaze over as I’m internally groaning: “Oh NO! ONLY 15 more days! AHHHH… I have so much to do!”

Until I made room.

Sweet Mary, moments away from giving birth, was told, “There’s no room for you here.”

This became one of the themes of Jesus’ life: “There’s no room for you.” He pressed against culture, religion, purpose, and what others considered truth, as many encounters left Jesus feeling the breeze of the door slam in His face, “There’s no room for you.” And finally, as He died on the cross, wasn’t that the world’s final way of saying, “There’s no room for You here?”

I know God had a plan in all of it. He knew Jesus would be treated in this manner and still sent Christ into a world that could not hold Him. A world that could not understand Him. Among a people that struggled with His very existence. He was “other”—the Word became flesh. Finally mankind got to see – the words that were penned long ago foretelling of His birth, became reality as skin covered bones and came wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. God became man—one you could touch, hear, and see. His name was Jesus! He was sent at the perfect time to share the perfect story as He walked, talked, laughed, cried, loved, saved, and redeemed.

As I still my anxious heart this season, putting away my to-do lists, I can hear this steady knock.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. {Revelation 3:20}

“There is room for you here, my Lord,” I reply.

Christmas is derived from two words: Christ’s Mass. Mass means to gather and “feast” on Christ, much like a church (followers of Jesus) join together to remember Jesus’ life and death through the Lord’s Supper. What a picture of what Christmas means for the world, an invitation to feast on Christ. If we’re not feasting on Christ then we are feasting on something else. So far, this season, if I’m honest, I’ve been shoveling in mouthfuls of second bests. It’s just not cutting it, and I’m thankful. {I’m publicly repenting, here. Thanks for listening.}

~SO HERE’S HOW I’M MAKING ROOM~

In the heart department:
{1} I’m spending time meditating on my great need for Him. I can’t celebrate my “Savior” if I don’t daily come to grips that I need one. I need Him! And His birth is and was a BIG deal. I can say, as of today, with great delight I’m watching our paper chain grow shorter as I remember “the reason for the season”—God’s plan of sending Emmanuel “God with us” to become our deliverance!

{2} Even in this busy season, I’m waging war on my sin. I’m letting God reveal the areas in my life that are not pleasing to him and I’m putting sin to death. I wish this time of year just naturally made me more thankful, but I confess I’m quicker to covet, to compare, to hold things tighter… want.want.want.spend.spend.spend! Giving myself the “excuse” to follow the world’s “Christmas standards” is not acceptable or pleasing to Him, and ultimately not satisfying for me. There’s no such thing as a sin-cation, so as I make room and invite Him in, He reveals the sin in my heart. I must continue to confess and realign my heart with His.

In the decorating department:
Up until now, I’ve focused on making my house “pretty.” My tree stands loud and proud, along with twinkling lights in many rooms, and stockings hung by the fireplace with care; but I’ve missed making it all about Jesus and His birth. A couple days ago, as I took in my decorations, nothing really pointed to Jesus. I’m making room. I’m adding some things to turn my gaze upward. I long to put the focus on my Beloved, making some alteration that speak to my King’s birthday! {Sidenote: It’s not about a list of decorating do’s and don’ts—it’s a heart issue.} For me personally, I knew I hadn’t made Jesus the center.

In the children department:
Little eyes are watching. “What is mom saying {by her actions} is the ultimate meaning of Christmas?” I have great responsibility, as I stand alongside my hubby, to lead our family. Do I talk more about the presents they may or may not get on Christmas morning more than I speak of this baby that came and changed the world? In our home, no doubt, we talk about Jesus, [when Noah used to list our family members, he’d say: Mommy, Daddy, Woah {that’s how he said his name}, Zach, and Jesus!] but am I doing everything I can to “train up my children”—establishing the right traditions that frame my children’s understanding of Christmas for years to come.

I want them to understand
• why we relish this time of year (the promise that was fulfilled in Jesus’ birth!),
• why we decorate (It’s a birthday celebration),
• why we give extravagant gifts (following in step with the 3 wise men as they came bearing gifts as they celebrated God’s most extravagant gift—JESUS).

I’m making room this season, and sharing the spoils with my children as I strive to teach and train my boys that Christmas is not just about nostalgic songs, traditions, ornaments, sugar cookies, and PRESENTS! {Even though I enjoy each and every one of these things.}

In the list department:
I’m not suggesting throwing out the list. But there are times in my day, everyday, that I’m throwing out my list. I enjoy a good productive day, like the next guy, but the list does not need to rule my day nor should it be accomplished through the wrong motive. I’m giving Him my list, letting Him check it twice (heehee)! Yes, I have lots to do. You do too. But as we do and buy and make and bake and set and wrap, may it all be from an outpouring of love for our King that deserves our everything as He equips us to love others.

So celebrate your little head off! He’s worth it! Make some of that creepy Figgy Pudding that makes your guests turn into ungrateful children, ordering you to make it or they won’t leave your house and then on top of that you have to practically feed it to them. The nerve! But when we’re “making room” we can even love those people. 😉

I love Christmas time, but when we start celebrating ritual, nostalgia, and presents we’re not engaging in Christmas {Christ’s Mass}, we push the birthday boy out of the party and say, “Sorry, it’s not really about You.” I don’t want to miss filling myself with Him this season. He always makes good on His promises. So come feast!

Feel free to share some things that you do or your family does to “make room.” I’d love to hear! I may share some of the new things we end up doing… we shall see.

life after a women’s retreat

November 15, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 3 Comments

By Heather Spring {Gilion}

A weekend full of estrogen, chocolate, giggles, tears, hugs, new and old friends, a themed t-shirt, songs in the female key, and—the centerpiece—JESUS! Is that a piece of Heaven on Earth? All the ladies say, “Whoop whoop!”

On Friday, we travel to the mountaintop to meet with God—pressing our ear upon His chest, conversing with Him about it all (the good, the bad, the ugly), pouring out our love and then letting Him fill us up with more of Him! Ahhhh… He.is.more.than.enough! On Saturday evening, we travel back down the mountain. We return home, swing open the door all the while singing at the top of our lungs, “*THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIIRRRRE!” {*google Alicia Keys if you aren’t familiar with this song, you’ll be singing this chorus for the rest of the day… you’re welcome} And in true Moses-style, your face beams so brightly that your family, friends and coworkers have asked you to “Cover that thang up!” I love sporting the you-can’t-handle-this glow! He rubs off on us!

• I’m sure the things He put His finger on in your life, have all been neatly resolved.

• You’ve said, “Yes” to Him and haven’t wavered in your obedience.

• You’ve confessed and reconciled with those you’ve wronged.

• You’ve continued to dive into His Word, and every so often, grab the thing and pressing it against your chest declaring, “Oh, I LOVE THIS BOOK!”

• You’ve been the kindest you’ve ever been.

• Moms, you haven’t raised your voice once!

• Wives, you’ve served with a smile: making his favorite food while washing his underwear.

• You’ve been in constant conversation with God.

• You’ve given to the poor.

• You’ve loved on every stranger.

• You’ve cooked a meal for a neighbor.

• You’ve signed up for a mission trip.

• You’ve achieved having a Mary heart in a Martha world! {Shout out to Joanna Weaver. You rock!}

• You’ve done it all without complaint or an entitlement mentality.

Right? No?!?!

Oh…

Well, then you’re human. Congratulations!

But… good news—He’s NOT! Our Hope anchors in His strength alone, not in ours.

We surrender.
We surrender again.
And again.
“I don’t measure up!” He does.
“I wish I could…” He can.
“I want to be perfect for Him!” It’s not about perfection, it’s about progression, a friendship that deepens and grows as He grows fruit in us.

Speaking of fruit… Remember Eve?

She was a masterpiece. The Master’s piece. Created last like a lovely bow that ties things together. She was the crown jewel in the King’s headdress. Lovely. Made to display attributes of God unique to the female kind. Unashamed in her nakedness, flesh of Adam’s flesh, walking along in the Garden of Eden with her Creator God by her side. Did they laugh? Did she see herself in His eyes? Did she gaze at her God in abandoned admiration? Did she feel comfortable to take His hand? Did she feel such security in their relationship that as He spoke she ran her fingers upon the tops of His hands—maybe examining His knuckles? Did she open His hands and trace the lines in His palms as she thought about how He used these very hands to make she and Adam out of dust? Did she catch herself staring at His lips as she pictured Him speaking everything into existence with simple words?

She must have been so full. Complete. Satisfied. He was enough. Right?

But before she knew it, she was engaging a conversation with a snake! What was it about his words that left her entertaining a lie?

I picture Eve sinning on a Monday. I don’t know, I just think about how sweet my Sundays are—Sondays. I know what you’re thinking—EVERY day can be a Sonday! You’re right. But there is something sweet about raising a unified voice with a group of hungry and thirsty people declaring to their God that He is enough. Singing melodies—truth on their lips and love flowing from their hearts. The Word of God open and spoken over a room full of eager listeners. “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” {Matt 18:20}

But I know sometimes it’s on my Mondays that the whiplash occurs—my faith is put to the test. The very words I was pouring out over my King become stabbing reminders of how I don’t measure up to the desires of my heart. I engage in conversations with the snake. I eat my apple. I wrestle with my flesh. I follow my own desires and so easily forget the good news of the gospel.

Here’s some good news for you today:

1. He’s still enough. Whether we live like He is or not. He is.

2. Where we are weak (and we will be), His grace is sufficient and His power comes to the forefront! The “snake” tempts us to disbelieve, to follow our own hearts, to push against the freedom that Christ came to bring us. Satan attempts to get you down, but in fact let him push you down… down to your knees. {2 Cor 12:9}

3. Our God is faithful {period}… {EXCLAMATION POINT}! Even when we are unfaithful, He’s still faithful. He can’t ever be something He’s not and His goodness doesn’t depend on ours. {2 Tim 2:13} And His mercies are new every stinkin’ morning… ahem… every glorious morning! {Lam 3:22-23}

4. This kind of piggybacks #3, but I think it deserves it’s own number: “He who calls you is faithful; HE will surely do it.” {I Thess 5:24} I’ve always loved this verse because it reminds me He’s doing the doing in me. He’s got this! He’s got me! He’s got you! The things that He’s called you to, He will do… just keep saying YES to Him.

5. Whatever He’s revealed to you on the mountaintop, cherish it in your heart, let it ruminate in your mind and settle into your belief system. And put a little accountability in action by sharing it with another Jesus-lovin’ *frister. {friend + sister}

You know, I can easily cast my imaginary stones at Eve, but she and I will be good friends in Heaven. After she wiped the apple juice from her chin, I bet she was a grieving mess. She messed up. She lost a lot on that day. But even then, grace had already been set in motion. God has crazy love for us… at times this makes me think He must be crazy. But it’s this love that won’t leave us alone. It’s His love that beckons us to the top of the mountain for sweet moments with Him and it’s the same love that calls us down again.

Spend time with Him today. Maybe your face will be a little brighter, your heart a little fuller, and your load a little lighter. May you keep singing at the top of your lungs, “THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIIIRRE!”

I love this picture Posy Creative captured of my sister Heidi! She IS on fire… on fire for her God. OUR GOD IS A CONSUMING FIRE! Burn baby, burn.

{Photos in this blog were taken at Inspire’s, the Heart Retreat, held at the Winderemere Conference Center, Roach, Missouri. Fab photos taken by the lovely and talented Holly Hyde of Posy Creative!}

What would it sound like?

November 13, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 3 Comments

by Heather Spring {Gilion}

What would it sound like if the trees had a voice and in unison they began to sing a song? One song. The same song. {Psalm 96: 11-12}

What if you could hear the sky tell of the works of His hands—the stars narrating their beginning or the moon enlightening you to his introduction to the sun? What if you could hear the planets spinning—whirring round and round—and if you listened close enough you could hear their voices in unison, “In the beginning was God. He was. He is. He will always be. God spoke a word and we appeared. Let us now tell you about this Creator God.” {Psalm 19:1}

What if the birds’ song made sense in our ears as we learned that every call and song expressed praise to the God that gave them their wings? What if their flight was more about worship than an animal in motion? {Psalms 104:12}

What would it be like if every time we looked in the mirror we heard, “You were made in My image?” Would we stop for a longer gaze? Would we peer deeper into our own eyes? Would our mind race as we imagined details of this ultimate being that we bear resemblance to? Would we bask in the moment that we are known and understood? What if we heard this same voice every time we met a stranger, “She is made in My image.” “He is made in My image.” Would that change our interaction with them? {Genesis 1:27}

What would it sound like if the walls that tower and protect our hearts came tumbling down? Would it be a mighty sound? Would we wince as brick and mortar came thundering down? Would we hear our hearts rejoice over the pile of dust and ashes? {Ezekiel 36:26}

What would it sound like if we could hear our sins striking the surface of the Sea as He cast them with force into the water’s abyss? Would we hear His loud cry as He hurled them into the deep? Would we witness the rise of the water, a splash reaching the heavens and then back down again acting as a cover? Would we then take in the silence on the water’s surface as the sins lay forgotten on the sea’s floor? {Micah 7:19}

What would it sound like if the chains that bound us fell to the floor with heavy might? We might, just might, sit speechless for a moment. But it wouldn’t be long before we raced through the cell doors that had been swung wide. Would we rejoice as three words rang through the halls, “YOU ARE FREE!” {Isa. 61:1}

What would it sound like if you could hear God’s thoughts toward you—one thought per grain of sand? Would you sit on the beach’s shore, scooping up handful upon handful, grains too numerous to count, as you took in each thought? As you let the sand spill between your fingers, what would you hear? Would you hear the whispers of His grand love? Would you hear of His plans? Would you blush and fight back the tears as you took in the words, “I’ve loved you before you breathed your first breath.” {Psalm 139:17-18}

What would it sound like if our idols told us the truth? Would we hear with our ears their desperate plea for us to see that they are nothing more than created not Creator? Would we listen as they begged us to see that they are a lie and nothing more? {Isa. 44:20}

What would it sound like if your heartbreaking made a sound? If in suffering and pain you heard your inner man fight for joy? What if this sound filled Heaven’s halls and traveled to the King’s ears? What if He didn’t just listen but responded? What would it sound like if we could hear His binding up of our broken heart? Would we hear our own cry—an initial scream from the pain that this pressure caused? Would we feel His nail-scarred hands pressing deeper and deeper still upon our bleeding heart? Would we hear our tears fall—hope streaming down our cheeks? {Psalm 147:3}

What would it sound like if your life was a song? “This is my story, this is my song.” What would be the hook—the line that drove your song? Would others hum along as you sang your melody with confidence and passion? What would line the verses or mark your rhymes? Would you sing it in public or save it for the shower? {Psalms 44:8}

What if you could hear the cheers from the “cloud of witnesses” as you ran with perseverance the race that is set before you? An assembly of onlookers who have run and finished strong—those in the faith, the martyrs, the faithful, those that have completed their race and now cheer others on from Heaven’s stands. What if you could see Jesus, our prize, as you ran? What if you could hear your feet hitting the track as you picked up speed, breath heavy, heartbeat loud in your ears as you begged air in and ordered it out again? What if the sound of the wind that blew past your ears was overtaken by the voices—oh, the roar of the multitude of voices—the familiar along with the unfamiliar, rooting for and encouraging you on to not lose heart and to keep your eyes on your prize? {Hebrews 12:1-2}

What would it sound like if every knee, in Heaven and on Earth, came crashing down? A bowing that rocked Earth’s foundation and Heaven’s floor, sending a thunderous current to roar and ripple through space and time, filling the depths and heights, width and breadth. {Isaiah 45:22-24}

Today Jesus prays the same prayer He prayed over 2,000 years ago, “Whoever has ears, let them hear.” {Matthew 11:15}

Can you hear? Are you listening? If you have ears… HEAR!

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts…” {Hebrews 3:15}

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If you want to learn more about faith in Jesus, go here.
If you want to learn more about Heather and Holly, go here.
If you want to hear about Dancing On My Ashes, go here.