Hiding

April 11, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 6 Comments

by Heather Spring

After Zachariah wakes from his afternoon nap there are a series of events that follow.

The very first thing: “I hungry, Mom!” SNACK TIME!

The next: “Let’s play cars!” CAR TIME!

The other day, after bringing him his snack I left the room to change over some laundry. A few minutes later I called out to him, “Are you done, Zach? You ready to go play with your cars?”

There was no response. So I walked into the living room and saw him hunched down behind the arm of the couch. “Wacky Zachy Dean, come on, let’s go play with your cars upstairs!” Silence. “You know you want to!” I said playfully. His response, “I’m hiding, Mom.”

“Hiding? Why? You want me to find you?”

“No.”

“Buddy, I want to play with you.” It brought back memories of when we were potty training. Both my boys would always “hide” in hopes to evade the dreaded number two. So, I thought, just in case, I’d ask, “Do you need to go poopie?”

“Nope. I’m just hiding.”

I let it go a few minutes more before I began my next tactic… the lure. “Zach,” I called out to him at the top of the stairs, “I’m upstairs looking at your cars. Do you want to join me? Come see some of the cars I’ve got lined up here.” Surely, that will seal the deal.

“I’m hiding.”

Hmmm… If that didn’t get him running over himself to get upstairs, there was obviously something HE was hiding.

I decided to investigate a little more thoroughly. “Hiding, huh? Well, I think I can find you.” I could see the top of his brown-hair poking out from around the arm of the couch. As I knelt down next to him, “You weren’t hiding very well…” And then as I took in my next breath, my investigation was complete. I could “smell” why he was hiding. “Zachy?” I patted him on the bottom, “You poopied in your pants!?” My fully-potty-trained-3-year-old had momentarily forgotten the sequence of events that are supposed to happen when one needs to “go.”

Rushing him to the bathroom, he continued to deny the evidence.

Zach had made a mistake… you could say, he went “toot” far. And his fear of Mom’s wrath led him into hiding and denial. (I’m that scary, people!)

Reminds me of a conversation I’ve read many many times.

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” (Genesis 3: 8-10)

Adam and Eve had a lot in common with my Zachariah. Because of fear they went into hiding. Playing with matchbox cars wasn’t on the top of their list, but strolling and conversing with their Creator God was. And just like Zach, these two had a nugget in their drawers—they had eaten from the only tree in the Garden that was off-limits.

God: “Where are you two?”

A & E: “We’re hiding.”

God: “Well, that’s silly. It’s a beautiful day for a stroll, don’t you think? Let’s walk and talk.”

A & E: “We’re hiding.”

Adam and Eve’s shame over the sin they had committed kept them in hiding. They weren’t very good at hiding either. He could probably see their little heads ducking behind the trees as they tried to stand as still as they could. Our hiding keeps us from dealing head on with the issue we’ve made between us. No matter what has caused us to go into hiding, nothing is too “bad” that we need to stay tucked behind trees or a couch.

So here’s the gist of my lesson learned… are you ready? Don’t let the poop get in between you and God.

God wants to show us that if we present ourselves to Him, our mess and all, that our relationship can be immediately restored as we confess and as He reminds us of His tree. He says, “If you are looking to hide, I have a great spot. You can hide behind my tree… the cross.” If we have put our faith in Him we are IN Him… we are covered by what happened on His tree. So if you’re going to hide, hide there and only there, for the cross of Christ frees us to enjoy that same relationship that Adam and Eve began in the Garden.

So… come out, come out, wherever you are! May we not miss moments with Him due to our shame, guilt, pride, and sin. He’s bigger than all that stuff.

Zach learned that although I wasn’t happy that it happened, (and, yes, he gets that I don’t want him filling his britches anytime he wants), ultimately, I love him and nothing he does is worth breaking our relationship. Nothing. There’s moments to be had together, adventures to share, cars to be driven. I am called to train him up into a successful human being. Part of that training requires moments where discipline is a healthy part of our relationship. But even then love is at the heart of my no’s, do’s, don’t do’s, tearful talks, and consequences. I long for him to understand, even in those moments, that he doesn’t have to let mistakes rob us of sweet time together. He should never let the poop come between us.

Why do we close our eyes?

March 18, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 6 Comments

by Heather Spring

I tried out an experiment on my husband the other day. I wondered what it would be like to keep my eyes open while kissing him. So, unbeknownst to him, I didn’t close my eyes. I’m not talking about taking a little peeky-peek here and there, I’m talking my eyes were open as WIDE AS CAN BE through the entire kiss. I think I just might know what you’re thinking: “You’re such a fun wife!” (Ladies, you should definitely try this one on your hubby! Spice things up, will ya?) But now that I’m thinking about it, he hasn’t really wanted to kiss me lately… hmmm…

So why do we close our eyes when we kiss?

I’ve read a few theories, but even scientists have tried to figure this out, and still don’t have a definitive answer. Some say when we close our eyes it eases the strong emotional pressure that we feel while kissing. Others believe closing our eyes is a natural response to something being that close to our eyes. From my now limited experience, I would have to add that seeing your love—pores magnified to the 1,000th degree, facial hair courser than you once imagined, and the merging of two eyes into one—is very distracting. (He still has the cutest eye I’ve ever seen.)

Another random thought for this Monday: why do we close our eyes when we pray?

Why do you? Or do you?

I don’t always close my eyes. If I’m driving I definitely keep them open, you’re welcome. I have prayed at times while cooking, again eyes stay open. (*FYI: The time I caught my hair on fire was not because I was trying to cook and pray at the same time.)

Is praying with your eyes closed mandated in Scripture? Nope. I’ve looked, but never found a single verse that says, “Thine eyes must be closed whilst speaking to Jesus.” The Bible simply calls us to pray… and to pray without stopping (1 Thessalonians 5:17). If we only talked to God with our eyes closed and we strived to follow this command to begin an unending prayer, then we’d never get anything else done. But what the writer, Paul, is really calling us to is constant communication with God. With eyes open or closed.

There are times that something catches my eye and I have to talk to God about it. And with this sight He has given me I can “see” beyond this world and into needs that are much deeper than one’s skin. It’s truly an honor to experience “beyond-me” moments. And I pray, in that moment, for that need, for that soul, for His glory. But there are times in prayer that I NEED to close my eyes. It’s like going in for a kiss; it’s a natural response to close my eyes. It’s part of my response to living by faith. In Heaven, when my faith becomes sight, I’m quite certain I won’t ever feel the need to close my eyes while I’m talking to Him (that would be awkward for both of us). But here and now, I can’t see His face, or touch His hands, or feel His arms, or see His smile. I’m living in the “not yet”. So when I do talk to Him with my eyes closed, I can tune out the temporal things of this world for a moment and set my spiritual eyes on Him. Sometimes I like to close my eyes when I sing to Him. I like to picture the One I’m singing to. I like to imagine His face as I tell Him through song just how much He means to me. For me, it’s a form of setting my heart on Christ, and for this human being that has a heart that is prone to wander, I do what I can to direct my eyes and attention on the One I’m talking to or singing to.

So I close my eyes for my eyes to be opened.

There’s nothing like meditating on the images in Revelation that describe the throne room of God. Imagining my King, in all of His splendor, sitting high and exalted on His throne as I join the song that’s on constant repeat in Heaven: HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, WHO WAS AND IS AND IS TO COME! (Revelation 4:8). My simple voice adding to the chorus of Heaven as a multitude of voices ring out adoration and praise to the One who’s worthy, yet hearing Him take notice, “I hear you, Heather. Keep singing, sweet girl!”

So as I close my eyes on this dreary, cool, I-can’t-believe-it’s-already-Monday morning, I’m filled up. My eyes are closed and my heart is open, as I fix my eyes on the One that loves me like no other. Who leads me on this path that has been set before me. Heart fixed on a God who became man and died for me. Who then defeated death so that I might live… really live. Who knows my name. Who knit me together in my mother’s womb and knew me intricately before my parents ever held me in their arms. Who knows what I’ve done in my past and not only still loves me… but likes me and invites me into a greater story.

So wherever you are today, continue your unending prayer. Or maybe you just need to begin one. Whatever your posture: kneeling, sitting, standing, lying down, eyes open, or eyes closed. And in your doing: walking, eating, drinking, cuddling, typing, organizing, working, wiping little noses, playing, driving, speaking, laughing, serving, loving, crying, or kissing with your eyes open…. may we accept the invitation to converse with the Creator of the Universe about all things.

Anyone have something I can be praying about today?

I am mad at you!

February 5, 2013February 5, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 3 Comments

by Heather Spring

My son Noah is five and is learning so much this year! He’s been working on writing words. He’s learned how to break down sounds and write what he hears. I am a VERY proud momma! So the other day he handed me this note:

I held it in my hand and sounded it out: ” I am mad at you!” Staring down at the penguin notebook, I immediately started praising him for writing a sentence, “Buddy, that’s GREAT! I can read this—good job!” As I began to look up, still commending him for his job well done, I was greeted with a big scowl and arms folded in disgust. “Ooooh,” I said, “I get it… you’re mad at me! I’m sorry I’ve made you mad… but, YOU ARE WRITING!”

I’ve been thinking about this over the last few days. And it’s made me think about my relationship with God. (There’s nothing like a good old fashion hate note to get you thinking, right?) When we accept Jesus as Lord, we are told that we can call Him Abba! Daddy! (Romans 8:15) He says we can speak to Him. We can crawl up in His “spiritual” lap and enjoy simply being with our Daddy. We can tell Him anything… even that we’re mad at Him. We can storm off to our room and then slip Him a note on a penguin pad that says, “I um mad at yo! (Insert mad face with VERY furious eyebrows!) We can fold our arms and give Him the best pouty face we can dare muster up.

Communicating our frustration with Him is better than the alternative… not talking to Him at all. Not trusting Him with our feelings, with our frustrations, or with our disappointments. Growing distant or giving God the silent treatment does not grow our relationship—it hinders it.

I have to admit, that’s a habit/cycle in my life that I’ve had to work really hard to break. There have been times I’ve thought I could teach my spouse a lesson by giving him the cold shoulder. I’ve grown cold to friends in hopes that they would get the message that “I am not happy with you!” I’ve even thought I could teach God a lesson, by pulling away. But lack of communication with God hurts us. Distance cannot mend. It cannot bring about healing or understanding. It is not a relationship builder—it is a relationship breaker. It thwarts growth and steals the opportunity to love despite differing opinions. And lets be honest, we have a skewed and limited perception of real love and what that looks like. Can’t we just take Him at His word that Father knows best?

I’m thankful Noah felt comfortable enough to say to me, “I am mad at you!” I want to know how he’s feeling. Maybe truth will reign as we communicate. And maybe he’ll hear my heart as I seek to show him there is love even in discipline. There’s love even in the “No’s.” That simple expression of frustration might usher in deeper intimacy and trust despite feelings. Honesty is vital! You can’t understand His love for you if you are not willing to be real before your Daddy.

Maybe there’s someone out there that needs to stop being religious and start being real. Sometimes we play the “I’m fine” card when we are anything BUT fine!

Have you had this conversation?

“What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” I say, purposefully not making eye contact and scrubbing the counter.
“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.”
“I’m FINE!” I say with more force as I seek more things to clean in a rage. (Sidenote: you think you can get a lot of cleaning done when you’re mad, but you just start cleaning in circles. I don’t recommend it.)

My husband won’t let me play the “I’m fine” card. Here’s one of my favorite moments when I tried to play my card and Dallas called me out! We’d had the above conversation and at that point he had been following me around as I cleaned in huff. After tailing me from room to room with no interaction he said, “I feel like Patrick Swayze in that scene in Ghost when he’s following around Demi before he realizes he’s a ghost.” At that point I turned and made eye contact with him and began laughing so hard I seriously forgot what I had been fuming about. And after I remembered… I was mad again… just kidding! We had honest communication and the relationship was strengthened.

God’s not Patrick Swayze. He’s alive! He longs for us to be real and talk to Him… even if we need to confess, “I’m mad at You!”

Tell Him how you are feeling even if you know that you are not justified in your feelings! Honest confession is not only beneficial in this relationship, but it’s necessary. And the good news is… if He has anything to do with it, you won’t stay mad long. His kindness leads to repentance and repentance leads to our growth and growth leads us to wholeness and in our wholeness we mirror our Daddy. And there’s nothing like looking more like Him.

So what do you need to say to Him today?

Dancing On My Ashes | The Story

January 4, 2013January 6, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 19 Comments

2000 was a life changing year for us. There were moments we didn’t know if we would survive, but God’s love rescued our hearts. For those out there that are hurting, confused, angry… there is hope. Real hope! Our lives are evidence of that hope and a God that is real and His love that’s healing.

Feel free to connect with us on our facebook page: DancingOnMyAshes

To order the book:

Amazon
Tate Publishing

Video made by: Rob Lyons Productions

Whoo-Hoo!

October 5, 2012January 5, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 1 Comment

by Heather Spring

Zachariah is a smarty pants. He only leaves out a few letters when he sings his ABC’s! Seriously, people, my Wacky Zachy Dean is A GEEENIOUUUUS. What’s the saying – “The apple doesn’t fall far from the oak”… no… the tree, right? Or, I’ve got it! He’s a chip off the old… that squarey-thingy… Ok, darn, he must get all his smarts from his daddy! My point in all of this is we are constantly learning new things, but do we get this excited about it!? I love at the end when he cheers for himself! “Whoo-Hoo!”

Here’s my thought of the day: Let’s celebrate the growth that happens in our lives. I’m not saying we need to pat ourselves on the back, but I do think we need to stop and rejoice over the work He is doing in us. Is He doing something in you? For me, the Lord has been really pounding me with verses on peace. (For those doing Women’s Bible Study at LPC, you’ll recognize this verse!)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

I am learning this…

learning…in the process of.

But things are happening in my heart that can only be the work of One greater than me. Today I’m reading this verse and pausing to say, “Whoo-Hoo! Lord, I’m thankful for the work you are doing in me. I’m overjoyed at the constant rewiring you are accomplishing in my mind. My heart leaps just knowing that You WILL NOT STOP. You are relentless and I love your determination. Because I am prone to fear, to fret, to worry, but You are calling me to take in Your peace. Peace that calms seas. Peace that remains even when my circumstances don’t change. May I let You continue teaching me about this peace that you offer so freely and this call to not fear.”

Now I think I might eat some yogurt.

How about you? Do you have something to Whoo-Hoo about? I’d love to hear…

No Eye. No Ear. No Mind.

August 1, 2012January 5, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / Leave a comment

by Heather Spring

This artwork hangs in my home. It is probably my favorite thing in my house. Not probably, it is, besides my husband and children. When I see it, my heart smiles. I love it for many reasons.

One. It was made by my sweeter-than-a-bowl-full-of-jelly-beans friend, Kris Crawford. She has such a gift from our Father. Her hands were made to worship in this way! And Kris’ worship now leads me to worship when I pass by these paintings standing tall in my home.

Two. As you can see the words here are from Scripture. 1 Corinthians 2:9. I love that God’s Word is alive and active and He promises that it will never return void. So anytime it goes out, you will return with something, even if you’ve read the same verse over and over. I have read this verse a lot. I can’t give you a number or anything, but before it hung in my house I had read it and reread it throughout my years of being a follower of Christ (and before). I don’t know if you are like me, but there are times I read a verse and I have one of those WOW moments that leave you sitting there with your mouth slightly ajar coupled with an extra heartbeat or two. I LOVE when this happens. It is exhilarating. I have read this verse at different times in my life. Sad times. Happy times. Times of ease and times of searching for answers. And each time it has been a call to trust Him fully, rest knowing He has unimaginable good for us when we live loving Him. There’s no eye, no ear, and no mind that can comprehend or dream up what God has in store for those that love Him. I’m taking this verse in today over and over and my heart is leaping over this promise and my eyes get a bit teary, but that’s ok. I’m thankful that God is patient with me because I have to say I am a slow learner and I learn better with repetition. So to have this hanging in my house is good for me.

Three. Today was one of those WOW days. I had a bit of insomnia about 3 am this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about this verse. Twelve years ago two very special people in my world stepped from this life to the next. And as I was lying there in bed this morning, I was thanking God that their faith became sight. Because they loved their God and had put their trust in Him, they stepped into eternity seeing in that moment, the One that they had put their faith in. I can only imagine how that might have felt. I dream of that moment… the excitement to actually see Jesus’ face. Feel His arms. I wonder if I’ll spend a few minutes touching His face saying, “Here’s the face I’ve been dreaming about!” I wonder if I’ll have one of my laughing-so-hard-you-start-crying moments. I can dream all I want. I can close my eyes and work hard to try and conjure up what I think it might look like or feel like to experience “what God has prepared for those who Love Him.” But even in my grandest attempts, they will never be good enough or sweet enough, or capture the WOW moment that will be mine on that day.

Four. I have analyzed those birds to artsy death. On the left canvas there are two birds on a wire. Waiting. Sitting. Longing. Maybe dreaming. Wanting to fly, but not. On the right, mirroring the second half of the Scripture, they are taking flight. They are now experiencing what they were created for. Should I start singing, “Wind Beneath My Wings” now? (It would fit, right?) Sometimes I think that the birds represent James and Scott. They are now experiencing wholeness of life that the rest of this broken world groans for. Or maybe I’m one of the birds. Maybe it’s a snapshot of Holly and I before and after our awakening. Or maybe it’s Dallas and I. Or our two boys. As a mom who loves her God and loves her children, I pray that they will understand His great love for them and choose to take flight. For me, there’s no other choice. I believe that this verse is true and that I can trust in this God. He is the only reason I can really live, move, love… fly. I KNOW Heaven will be amazing! It.will.BLOW.our.minds! But until then we get to fly here and now, experiencing even now what He has prepared for those that Love Him. Too often I don’t take advantage of the “flight” He’s prepared for me… on this earth. He has prepared good things for us TODAY. I can lose sight of that too often.

Are you one of these birds? If so, which bird are you?

So, be encouraged, birds, I mean, friends… if you know Him, let’s LOVE Him. Let’s let Him love us. Let’s hope, dream, let faith rise up, as we spread our wings and live and move all for His great name’s sake. He loves us. Sometimes I have to say it until I really get it: He loves us! He loves you. While we have breath in our lungs, may we enjoy journeying with Him. If you don’t know Him, you can. (Feel free to message me if you have questions. But here’s the gist… He loves you regardless of whether you love Him or not. He died a death to bring you life. You can accept this love, by talking directly to Him, confessing your need of His blood that covers your sin. And believe in Him and begin following Him. Amazing love that leads to life, not death!)

Numbers five through seven. Kris made the branches out of newspaper. Some of the headlines and content crack me up. It’s a personal joy/game as I search out what other treasures are threaded in my trees.

(If you want a one-of-a-kind piece of worship for your home, feel free to contact Kris at kriscrawfordis@gmail.com. SHE IS THE AWESOMESTEST!)

Honor Your Father

June 14, 2012January 7, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 2 Comments

by Heather Spring

I wrote this last year as a tribute to my Fathers. As this Father’s Day approaches I couldn’t stop thinking about this post, so thought I’d edit/update my tribute and share it on our blog…

•••

The Bible says to “honor your father” (Exodus 20:12). Well, it would be my pleasure to do so… right now! I often get teary-eyed for a few reasons on Father’s Day. The main reason used to be because I miss my daddy. He’s been in Heaven for 13 years… probably only feels like a few moments to him, I’m not sure, but for us time stands still at times when we feel the weight of our loss. Here’s the only picture of “us” that I have. For those of you in a large family you probably can relate. I have many pictures of my dad, but this is the only one that’s just us. It’s priceless.

(Here’s me and my dad! Can’t wait to see him again.)

There’s so many things I’d like to talk to my dad about. I wish he was here to see all that’s happened since his death. I would love for him to know what God has continued to do in our lives because of the legacy that he began in us. Maybe he knows… he probably does. But what I wouldn’t give to be sitting next to him and sharing stories, sharing laughs, and sharing some ice-cold gummy bears.

The great thing about my God is this, when I lost my earthly father, God opened my eyes to see that He was and always had been my Father. So whether I had someone to call “Daddy” or not, He loved me. I totally get the verse in the Bible that says, He is a father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5). As alone as I’ve felt at times, strangely enough, I have never been alone. (And then if that wasn’t enough, which it really is, but He went another step forward and has placed men in my life that “father” me. So, I continue my “honoring” by introducing you to Jim Brill.

My late husband, James, left me with the most precious gift – his family. They have adopted me. We have held one another’s hands through our darkest hours, and I truly cannot imagine my life without them. When I lost James I remember saying that I couldn’t fathom ever marrying again! I remember vividly the day that Jim told me that not only were he and Penny praying for God to bring the right person into my life, but at some point he would be honored to be the one to walk me down the aisle! In tears I said, “That will never happen.” On November 6, 2004, Jim walked me down as I married Dallas.

Can’t thank God enough for giving me another father – Jim Brill.

What a beautiful picture of grace, redemption, hope, and love. I thank my God every time I remember this amazing gift of my father, Jim. Happy Father’s Day, Jim!

So… if that wasn’t enough! My mom fell in love and married, Bill. We are still celebrating God’s timing and his divine plan in our lives. Bill has been a reminder to me personally, that God hears our prayers and we can fully trust Him. Daddy Bill’s presence has brought about healing and laughter within our family. I adore this man and love the way he loves my mom. He signed up for a lot when he married her (haha), there’s a lot of crazies in this family (you know who you are), but without batting an eye he’s loved us and adopted us as his. We’ve adopted him and he’s adopted us. I feel like he’s been a part of our family from the beginning! That kind of love is from God! Happy Father’s Day, Bill!

Daddy Bill or Papa Cary, as Noah likes to say!

You’d think I should be done with all my honoring…. but I tell you, I’m one blessed girl, because it doesn’t stop there. I have yet another daddy! For those of you that know my husband you know that it’s just not fair that he’s mine. He’s one of those guys that you would say is almost too good to be true. I bet some of you are shaking your heads with me. Well, there’s a couple reasons that he’s sooo great… two of those reasons: Earnie and Loretta. Amazing, Godly parents that raised him to love God. Not a love of religion or religious activities, but a love of a God that is real and alive.

When God allowed me to take in the fact that I was to be part of this family I was overwhelmed! I had always heard people complain about their in-laws and here I had two sets of “in-laws” that I adored and had a sweet relationship with. I am honored to call Earnie my father! Yet another reminder that God knows what we need and who we need in our lives. I am learning so much from watching him! He is selfless with those in his community, devoted to his wife, and the ultimate papa! Happy Father’s Day, Earnie! I love you!

Earnie and I smiling over some throwed rolls!

So, like I mentioned earlier… Father’s Day has always been one of those days that I get teary-eyed. I have to admit, I think I always will, but not simply over the father that I greatly miss, but now over the way God fathers the fatherless. If you scan the above pictures, it’s obvious, I am loved. Every good a perfect gift is from above! None of this has happened by chance or because I’m lucky… it’s because I have a Father that is Love.

Some of us visited my dad’s grave site last month.

My mom calls this photo: Life Goes On

We miss him.

Death is hard and I desperately long to get on with the reunion! It’s hard when I’m trying to explain to my boys who their grandpa was! Or to my husband, for that matter. There have been times I’ve said, “You see that guy over there, he kind of laughs like my dad.” or “The way that man tells jokes, that’s exactly like my dad.” I’m desperate for them to KNOW him, because I know all of my boys would have LOVED him! But until we are all together again we settle for these moments in time where we pause and celebrate and remember and then thank God for the breath in our lungs, but more importantly LIFE ETERNAL!

So, may you be encouraged today. Maybe you, like me, don’t get to sit in the same room with your dad building new memories. Maybe you can’t pick up the phone and call him. You can’t enjoy the way he laughs, tells stories, or smiles. Maybe all you have are memories and pictures of what once was. Or maybe you do have an earthly father but for many reasons you don’t have a relationship, and as Father’s Day approaches you find yourself grieving. I’m praying for you today. I pray that your eyes will be opened to His great love for you and the men that He’s placed in your life to father you! May we all honor the Father of all fathers! We have a Heavenly Father that will never leave us and will always speak truth over us (even when the truth hurts). One who loves us with an unconditional love that forever is working to make us whole.

Thank You, God, that all my earthly dads want to be just like You!

Happy Father’s Day, Jesus! You indeed are the ULTIMATE FATHER!

Stilling Me

May 21, 2012January 5, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / Leave a comment

Saw a church sign that read:

“Jesus calms the storms of life”

Can I say out loud that I think that’s not always true? Oh no, I hear a rumbling in the church pews! Before you start picking up stones, I’d like to add, I believe He can… and there are times He does. No doubt. My God has more power in his pinky toe to quiet all the storms that rage, to still the mightiest of winds that threatens to beat us up, and rescue us out of the water that longs to hold us under. He wouldn’t even have to flex a muscle. He could just use His voice, “Be Still” and complete peace would awe even the toughest skeptic. But I have a hard time with this sign standing high, promising such things. I guess I’m tired of God getting a bad wrap and maybe it’s because we win people with things that aren’t completely accurate about God and then there’s a let-down effect. Too many times people come to Jesus because they hear “He’ll fix your problem” or “He’ll calm your storms” and when the storm continues to rage they think, “Well, obviously this is a bunch of junk. This ‘Jesus’ didn’t do anything for me! My storm still rages!” They are let down and put out with God because they point at the sign and say, “He didn’t do what He was supposed to do!” Shoot, I’d love an easy life. I’d love a life without storms, without trials, without pain… and fortunately that’s a life that’s in my future (it’s called Heaven). But I’m not home yet. I’m here with my hair whipping around, smacking me in the face, and the water filling up the bottom of my boat!

This

Life

Hard…

What I’ve come to learn and love about God is that He is a very present God in the midst of such storms. He is near, as close as a whisper, as close as my skin, with a hand extended. He indeed is our Savior! Our hope and rescue. He is with us. That is what He promises. He might and He might not calm our storm, but His promise to walk with us in the midst of that storm stands true! There have been many times I’ve cried out to God to change my circumstances or my frustrations and He chooses not to, but He still responds and it’s usually by saying, “Don’t fear. Hold on to Me, Heather! Brace yourself against Me. Lean into My chest.” An offer I can’t refuse. I pin myself against this safe refuge. And in this moment, with His beautiful Spirit, He calms ME… not the storm… ME! And even when the waters rise or the wind picks up, I’m fine. Actually, more than fine. I’m at peace.

He is above all things: our circumstances, our pain, the ever-changing circumstances in this life! We are told to cry out to Him (Psalm 18:6). We are told we can ask for things (Matthew 7:7-12). So don’t hesitate to ask God to calm your storm. You’re not crazy for wanting the rocking of your boat to cease! We all await the moment we feel the settling of the water, and we can finally get up from the fetal position to witness the clouds parting. And as we shield our squinting eyes we see the sun emerging, coming to warm our skin with promises of better days ahead. Setting sail on calm water with nothing but blue skies calling you forward never feels so good! But don’t lose heart if your cry seems to bring no change or if it doesn’t magically cease your rocking boat. I’ll say it again, DON’T LOSE HEART! You can trust Him.

If you are in a storm, know that an even greater promise remains, One that promises to carry you through the storm! He is not ignoring you, He is near, He loves you, and if He’s not stilling the storms He’s wanting to still YOU. A Peace that holds your hand, calms your fears, silences the “what if’s” and brings strength to your trembling knees.

Put your hope in the One that is your only Hope not in the hope of a storm-less life!

Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).

A Puppet On A String

March 22, 2012January 5, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / Leave a comment

by Heather Spring

I know what you are thinking… “I like her shoes!” Yes! That’s exactly what I was thinking!

Another thing I’ve been thinking is, “Why didn’t God just create a bunch of puppets?” Why did I have to have choices and screw up life? Pinocchio had it all wrong. Stop striving to be a “real boy” and just move when your creator moves you, dance when you’re told to dance, enjoy the way He leads you. You wouldn’t end up with a freaky nose that grows when you say the wrong thing or befriending the wrong people and captive at a weird but alluring Pleasure Island (been there, not what I’d call a good time). If we could just be puppets on a string we would be safe in our Father’s hands. But our Creator thought it would ultimately be best to start life by cutting the strings. We wake up in this world and realize our arms move when we want them to and if we want to go there, we just go. We don’t have to hope, we have a say in the matter. Spiderman once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Too bad, so sad we don’t take this into consideration as we frolic around our little world demanding our course. As a puppet I would think ultimately I would enjoy my creator because I would recognize I was nothing without him. As a puppet I would see the joy that the creator had over his creation, the smile that would overtake his face as he showed me off to others. If something broke, obviously he would be the one that could fix it, untangle my strings, and make me like new. I would love to be that close to my creator. But when I was created, before I could rub the sleep out of my eyes, I woke up and ran. You could say I was trying my legs out, but in reality I just didn’t want to stay put. I liked that I had a choice and freedom. My Creator knew we all could run or forget He existed. That was a possibility and probability. He created me inside and out. He hoped and at some level knew, that at some point, I, Heather, would turn and recognize Him for who He is: my life-giver, a no-strings-attached kind of guy.

But things have changed these days. I have to say even though I’m free and I have choices each and every day, I don’t live free… on purpose. I choose to live upside down. I love my Creator and in turn – desire to dance when He says dance, go where He says go, move with the movements of His hands. I stay close not because of strings but because of love. I want to please Him and see a smile on His face when He shows me off to others. I want to stay so close that when I’m broken or need tending to, He’s right there. I have now come to realize even without the strings attached, I’m nothing without Him. Indeed, there are no physical strings; it’s a choice to connect myself to Him. It is a beautiful, free life that I personally participate in, make choices in, find purpose in, and time and time again fail in. This freedom is wonderful and at times feels like a curse. So badly I want to be perfect, like a puppet, but I’m not.

It’s all upside down really. I’m not a slave, but I make myself a slave. Not because I am pathetically hopeless, but because I’m optimistically hopeful, that He will choose to use this life for a greater cause than I could conjure up on my own. That finding my place as His slave makes me more free than when I ran about searching for the next Pleasure Island simply to be yet again disappointed, disillusioned, wounded, and taken captive.

”Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.” -1 Corinthians 9:19

A slave has always been such a harsh word. There’s very good reason for this. In times past, and unfortunately in times present, there are people being forced to work for another, being dominated, controlled, manipulated, abused all for the sake of ownership and furthering oneself in life. Money and power have a lot to do with slavery. But can you imagine choosing slavery? The fact is we are all slaves. It’s just a matter to whom or what we are enslaved to.

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? Romans 6:15-16

I have chosen to chain myself to One that is good, period. He is a Master that doesn’t manipulate, shame, embarrass, harass, control or dishonor. He longs to invite you into His world so you can experience a full life. Like I said, we are going to be a slave to something. In the book of Romans it’s described as becoming a slave to righteousness. Two words: Slavery and righteousness, it seems one should cancel out the other or maybe be locked in a cage to fight to the death. So what does it mean to be a slave to righteousness? Can you picture submitting and attaching yourself to virtue, morality, justice, decency, uprightness, honesty… God? Because even though you are choosing chains, you’re choosing chains that fasten you to God, a bonding through slavery that creates a union for life with Love, Life, and Perfection.

This feels upside down. You might be thinking, “I thought we were born without strings.” We were. “So why can’t I run my life?” You can try. Let me know how that works out for you. I’ve walked in your shoes. I’ve watched others “run their lives.” It’s never a pretty ending. See if you’re not quickly a slave to something or someone else. But there’s an up side to being down, down in a servant’s position, on your knees offering your life to your Maker. It comes with a joy that you won’t find chained to this world, a slave to your fleshly desires, controlled by the very things that leave you empty. Obeying your Master and Maker leads to living a life that you were ultimately created for – on a mission that has been embedded in your little heart since the beginning of time. A chance to live out a life that feels right, bigger than little ole you, a pride in each step as you walk hand-in-hand with your Creator.

The more I read in the Word the more I realize how upside down I am. I have for so long lived wanting to move up, to be noticed, to build life the way I’ve always dreamed it to be. But the more I read, the more I come to see all these wants, hopes, and goals should really be leading me down. And when I obey His voice and bring myself low that’s when He raises me up. There is an up side to down. Living low raises Him up. And when His name is proclaimed, everything in me resonates and celebrates. Because why should the created be worshipped and the Creator be forgotten?

So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” -Matthew 20:16

(awesome photo by: By limeonrocks Gursimran Kaur

http://www.flickr.com/photos/limeonrocks/3856422141/)

Looking Up

March 20, 2012January 5, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / Leave a comment

by Heather Spring

Here’s Holly and I as little people. Don’t you just wanna pinch our cheeks?

Our mom used to do this to our hair. Holly’s bangs curled better than mine. I have an ornery cowlick that is at odds with me to this day. My mom did the best she could with my stubborn strands.

As a start to this blog I wanted to briefly explain where I’m at these days: upside down. But there’s an UP side to this down, if I can toy around with these words.

If you’ve read our book, Dancing On My Ashes, you know the season of suffering we experienced and the awakening that happened in our hearts. Our ashes have become our platform, but the beauty that emerged from these ashes has been our message.

Look at my little cuties below and you can almost feel what every mother would feel about their children: so much love, such hope that they won’t experience pain, disappointment, or moments of fear.

I was just telling my husband the other day that my heart beats faster when I come to grips with the fact that I can’t protect Noah and Zach from experiencing pain. As a mother I don’t want them to hurt or be rejected… or suffer. I know it’s a part of life, but I can’t say that I don’t wince every time I think about them feeling real heartbreak. If I’m honest, I want all the kids on the playground to want to play with my boys. I want their friends to speak truth to them and never belittle or make fun of them. I want my boys to only date the girl that they end up marrying, so that they’ll never give their hearts away to the wrong girls. And as far as losing someone they love? Can’t we all just experience the rapture? Lord, is that too much to hope for? As silly as that may sound, and even though I know with all my being I can trust God with their precious hearts, everything in me wants to lock them in our house and shelter them from the ugly world out there. It wouldn’t be all that bad. I am loads of fun, people!

But it wasn’t until I was down that I looked up. It wasn’t until my cheek was pressed against the dirt and I was coughing up dust, that I lifted my eyes. Proper perspective doesn’t occur until our false sense of security and what we’ve built our life around comes tumbling down. I became painfully aware of this in 2000. It was a year of so much death, but it was the year that I looked up and found LIFE! It was a year that flipped me upside down… in a good way. Because when you are down, the only place to look is up. And when you look up and see Him, everything you once knew gets flipped upside down. And when you live this life upside down, things become right side up.

Ouch, my brain hurts.

So, as far as my kids are concerned, I want them to see Jesus more than I want them to have a safe and pain-free life. I want them to fall madly in love with their God more than I want them to be picked first for tee ball.

There is indeed an up side to down. If we never experienced the down we might never look up. And if we never look up, then we miss the One that has come to give us real life.

Life…

The abundant life that gives you new eyes and a new heart. So, with our new eyes and our new hearts we share this crazy upside down life of living looking up.

I hope you’ll join us as we look up!