A letter to my first grader

August 14, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 4 Comments

by Heather Spring

Dear Sweet Boy,

You’ve probably noticed I’ve been a bit weepy this week, as we’ve gotten you ready for school. You are so big!

How did we get here so fast? I mean, wasn’t it just yesterday that I was staring at your 6-pound self as you slept in the bassinet a few inches to my left? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was changing your diapers and begging you to say Momma? I know you don’t have those images etched in your memory the way I do, but these were life-changing moments for me that will always make my heart swell when I pause to take them in. So, yes, I’m teary today as my heart plays catch up with your independence. Time does fly when you’re having fun, and as quickly as we’ve gotten here, I’m reminded by just about every parent with older children, that in a blink of an eye, I’ll be writing you a letter as you leave for college. {Okay, cannot go there!} Your daddy and I have worked so hard to teach you how to do things by yourself, and now everything in me wishes we hadn’t. But that’s just a little piece of me. The other piece of me loves watching you do, be, and create. Which brings me to the second reason I’m teary…

I’m sooo stinkin’ proud of you! You are a little person—so grown-up at times. You are becoming generous, helpful, courageous, considerate, and a leader. God has made you super-duper unique and I’m speechless at times as I witness His design through you. There’s nothing like hearing your questions and seeing your brain at work. I pray that your sweet spirit will not be squelched by this world.

I am your mom. I take my role seriously. And it’s hard for me to be away from you for so many hours in a day! So here’s some thoughts to take with you… it’s my way of “going” with you:

1. Tell the truth, even if you think you’re going to get in trouble. I promise it’s worse to lie, or try to cover it up. That feeling in the pit of your stomach when you don’t tell the truth is worse punishment than just coming clean. There will be times you disappoint people in your life, but just remember our love for you remains, and there is an unending well of grace that you can draw from.

2. Listen to your teachers. Show the adults in your life respect. You are going to see some of your friends be unkind to teachers, or not listen to the rules, but don’t follow their example. Teachers are there to encourage and guide you as you grow up. We, your leaders, don’t always get everything right all the time, but even so, show us grace as we grow. You’ll do this momma’s heart good to hear you show the adults in your life proper respect—“Yes.” “Please.” “Thank you.” “I will.” “What can I do to help you?”

{Now if someone you don’t know tries to hurt you or you feel like you’re in danger, remember: NO, GO, YELL, TELL! You can also kick them in that place I told you about.}

3. Eat your lunch. There are starving children in Africa. There really are. Eat your food.

4. See God in others. If you look—really look; you’ll see it—beauty. God has made everyone so special! He’s put his fingerprints on us. It’s one of my favorite things to do, to look for the special qualities in others.

5. Be a friend. I know you’ll want friends, but to make friends you need to be a friend. When you’re bummed that you don’t have anyone to play with at recess, be on the lookout for someone else that might be “all lonely” (as you like to say). To have friends, you must first BE A FRIEND.

6. You don’t have to be first. It’s okay to let others go before you—it can be a lot of fun actually. You’ll be the line leader at times, soak it up and live it up, but there’s other ways of being a leader and sometimes that’s by letting another go before you.

7. This learning stuff takes work. Don’t lose heart if for some reason you’re not getting everything as fast as your neighbor. Just keep after it! We can waste time and energy comparing ourselves to someone else, so instead, strive to keep your head in the game—you’ll get there! I know how easily you get distracted, you might get that from me, but just remember how long it took you to figure out how to put the straw in your Capri Sun? Seriously! That took some practice, right buddy? But now you’re a poking machine!

8. Have fun. Laugh. Be a six-year-old. Talk about poop and legos until your heart’s content. I love your little brain that is obsessed with turtles, Lego-Batman, and revving up your imaginary motorcycle (which is actually in the shop getting fixed, you mentioned). Honestly, I probably don’t have to tell you to have fun, because you can’t help it, you are the PARTAY! So, maybe this one’s for me. I don’t say it enough! I usually hear myself saying, “hurry up” not “have fun!”

9. It’s not a bad thing to be different. I know we’ve talked about how not everyone loves Jesus. I know you still can’t fathom that being the case, but it’s true. Not everyone’s going to believe what you believe and that might make you feel “different” at times. But I promise, this is normal, this is natural, and it’s a reality that you will feel for the rest of your life. But once you really get this, a confidence will trump any other negative feelings you may be receiving from others. He’s worth it, sweet boy! He’s worth it!

10. Kids can be mean, but you don’t have to be. Bullies are out there, unfortunately. And when you come home torn up over what someone said to you—that was intentionally meant to hurt you—it will take everything in me not to go to lunch with you the next day to give them the mom-stare over some s’mac and cheese. But I won’t. But just know, that kids that want to hurt your feelings, probably are themselves…hurting. So let’s pray together for them.

11. Girls can be your friends. Ignore anyone that bugs or teases you about having a “girlfriend.” We’ll talk about girls in MUCH greater detail later, but for now, just remember you’ll want to be nice to girls now because I promise you’ll want to get to know them more later. Dad already had the sex talk with you when you were a day old, so he thinks you’re good to go, but I think we’ll probably have to revisit it later. You finally have come to terms that I am off-the-market and we won’t be getting married, even so, I am more than okay with being the “girl” in your life.

12. You are loved. This really is the most important thing. That’s why I say it so often. Because when people know that they’re loved, it changes how they live. When you, Noah, really grasp how much you are loved—not only by your momma and daddy—but by the God who knit you together in my womb, then everything else will come naturally. The loving, the listening, the working… all of it, will be an outflow of the inflow. Believing you are loved is empowering. It’s humbling (I know you don’t know what that word means, yet, but it’s a good word). Being loved frees you from feeling like you have to be “good” enough for my love. Your understanding of all of this will grow—but for now, as you walk away from the car and disappear inside your elementary school, hear my words: I LOVE YOU!

13. You are my arrow. There will be a day that I release you, but (thankfully) the time has not come. But even today, you, my arrow, are being made. And over time, by delicate art and focus, your daddy and I, striving to follow God’s leading, are crafting and shaping you into an arrow with grand purpose. Our God will direct us every step of the way. And I have a feeling before I know it, I’ll be placing my arrow into the bow, drawing you back to release and watch you fly.

But even tomorrow, as you’re walking through the double doors I see a foreshadowing of things to come. Go, my little arrow. You are not alone. Our God is with you and your momma is praying for you like crazy.

Love,
Mom

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. -Psalm 127: 3-5

No-Good-Rotten Anniversaries

August 1, 2013September 19, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 11 Comments

by Heather Spring

There are good anniversaries and ones that feel… ummm… well, not so good.

Holly and I wanted to write a little something for those that might be in the same boat as we—the “man-that-day-really-stinks boat.” We said goodbye to James and Scott on August 1, 2000. And ever since, that day hasn’t been the same. We’ve traveled to many a place, sharing our story, and we’ve met many others that have their own day—those no-good-rotten days that linger on the calendar, staring us in the face, begging us to crumble under the pain they symbolize.

We’re sharing this post on our “day” in hopes that we can speak a bit about what we’ve learned over the past 13 years regarding difficult anniversaries. Wow, I need to pause for a moment…
Has it really been 13 years?
God is good.

Four years ago, on this particular day, I was nine months prego, and had this amazing moment with God. My no-good-rotten day had actually snuck up on me. That was a first for me! On top of that, some of my good friends were throwing me a baby shower to celebrate Zachariah’s soon arrival. I had agreed to this?! What was I thinking? (a.k.a. baby brain) This all occurred to me on my fifth trip to the bathroom that night. (a.k.a. baby kicking bladder) So all of a sudden I sat there, wide-eyed, in shock that I had not been dreading the day. In fact, I was planning to celebrate on this day! Woah! Talk about God’s redemption at work. As my head pressed against my pillow, in the wee hours of an August 1^st morning, I started running through my usual pattern of “anniversary” thought. I recalled what I had done that morning in 2000. I cringed again about the argument James and I had before he left the house. I remembered watching the clock for his return so that I could apologize. I thought about how I went to bed that night not knowing that he was already holding the hand of Jesus… his faith had been made sight. I recalled the waiting, the watching, the bargaining with God, and the “whys.” I remembered the moment when our worst fears were made reality as over 24 hours later we received the news that there had been an accident.

Sigh. Deep breath.

All these memories were running through my mind on that morning four years ago as I curled up underneath my covers. All this remembering created a very odd feeling in me, to be honest. I sat there going through the fatal turn of events, just like I always seemed to do on that day, yet at the same time, my heart’s voice whispered, “Lord, is it okay that I’m remembering?” As quickly as I had uttered those words, another memory transported me to my past. I was on a hillside. I could almost feel the stillness of that dark night as I stood questioning God. Etched into my being, alone before the King of Kings, I came to understand comfort that is not of this world. A broken and desperate widow experienced God’s nearness that proved He indeed loved this seemingly insignificant human being. He spoke over my life in my darkest hours. Grace upon grace.

“God, I’m remembering… is that okay?” You see, I was conflicted. I almost felt guilty about reminiscing. A few inches to my right was my husband Dallas. I could hear him inhaling and exhaling. I couldn’t be more thankful for the gift God had given me in his companionship. And then to my left was a monitor that hummed with sounds from my son Noah’s room.

“Lord, You have never left my side. Your plans are completely beyond my wildest imaginations!” I said, as I ran my hand back and forth on my round abdomen that cradled Zachariah. “Lord, Is it okay that I’m remembering?” Sometimes you can’t help but sound like a broken record.

In God-fashion, at the perfect moment, He answered my question with a question. (Another one of His specialties.) “What does the name Zachariah mean?”

I was silenced and awed as I recalled my many Google searches, desperate to choose the perfect name for our little boy. I responded, “Zachariah means God remembers.”

GOD REMEMBERS!
GOD remembers!
God REMEMBERS!

God spoke into my August 1sts and wanted me to know that not only should I remember; but I need to understand that He remembers. He remembers those moments even clearer than I do. As I close my eyes and mentally walk the roads of my past, I dare not miss the moments He carried me… us. His otherness still leaves me speechless. And as I linger on each moment in time, He desperately wants me to understand that His love for me has never failed, that He is enough for ANYTHING that I would and will ever walk through, and that He is a God that doesn’t forget. And as I remember, I can rest in the truth that He remembers me… the gal that gets it wrong more than she gets it right. This heart wanders, only to be reminded that His cross is more than enough.

You know I had thought Dallas and I chose Zachariah’s name… but we didn’t. He did. God picked it out and blessed me with the revelation that the sweet little smile I would come to know is actually a daily reminder that God remembers.

—

It might sound odd, but I can’t stop thinking about Easter today.

Easter is really the only thing that I can think of to compare to tough anniversaries.

Good Friday: complex emotions over the death of one you love.
Saturday: grieving, processing, holding out hope for the promises spoken about Sunday! We wait and hope—believing that LIFE will come from death!
SUNDAY: Our hearts leap as the day breaks on Easter morning and we celebrate the empty grave! Christ completed what He was asked to do on the cross. ONLY GOD could tell death to “shove it!”

August 1 is not the end to our story… or James’ or Scott’s. It’s part of the story, but the story is SO much bigger than that! There are places in me, and maybe you, that beg us to get stuck in our Fridays. We mourn. We don’t move on. We can’t look forward. We get stuck in the pain, trapped in the sorrow of Friday. But we can’t miss out on Saturday! I know Sunday’s the BIG day, but a lot can happen in us on Saturday. It’s a testing of faith—of living out what we believe—of hoping that indeed Sunday will come! We cling to the promise that He will come for us! There will be an end to our suffering, the injustice, the tears, and the horrific news stories! Sunday will be AH-MAZ-ING! But we can’t miss living anchored to hope while we endure Saturday.

With all that said, we share with you 3 things to think about on your no-good-rotten day(s):

1. Remember your Friday. Don’t fight the desire to remember or “busy” yourself in an effort to ignore this natural response to loss and disappointment. If we strive to disengage our heart, we miss moments of growth. So go ahead: remember, talk about it, re-live moments. BUT… don’t get stuck in your “Friday.” At some point, you stop looking back, and you set your eyes forward.

2. Make Saturday your Thanksgiving. You might think it would be a hard thing to do on a day that your heart is so heavy, but I promise thanksgiving is key. Whether it’s mental or you choose to sit down and put pen to paper, once you begin a list of thanksgiving, you may be surprised at how quickly you’ll see the presence of God even in the midst of your darkest day. Gratitude is good for the soul and it is healing to recognize, verbalize, and credit the hand of God. When we focus on our pain, we can get jaded and angry. Thanksgiving opens up our eyes to see life from an entirely new perspective. While you dwell in your Saturday, awaiting the promise of Sunday, build your faith by recognizing the blessings all around you.

3. Set your heart on Sunday. I’ve spent some anniversaries lingering on #1 waaaay too long. I’ve wallowed, licked my wounds, and drug others down with me. If you are a believer, then get this IN you: THIS IS ALL TEMPORARY! This is not our forever home! Eternity is set in our hearts (Ecc. 3:11). Do you feel it? Let the promise of Sunday usher in peace as you are reminded that the suffering we endure here on earth will be incomparable to the hope and glory that will be revealed on Sunday! (Romans 8:18)

Lastly, we wanted to highlight 3 anniversary surprises:

1. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don’t. Don’t feel bad either way. Most of the time I don’t and it surprises me, it might be because I’ve cried off and on the week that leads up to this day. My emotions are on !HIGH Alert! the entire month of July and then when I expect total meltdown, I have a peace that passes all MY understanding! He’s good like that.

2. Irritability. That’s just a nice way of saying that I can be a bit grouchy and easily angered leading up to my day. (Holly more so than me—just kidding!) Little things that shouldn’t be a big deal suddenly become a BIG DEAL! I call it “subconscious grieving.” I’m thankful for a God that understands our weaknesses and brings healing and freedom from even a July-hot-head. It’s been good for me to understand this “anniversary surprise” so I can fight against it. My sweet hubby and children have shown me much grace and love as they live with this sporadic “side-effect”.

3. You don’t have to hide. You might be surprised by this, but it’s okay to let others know that a painful anniversary is coming up. I’m not saying you need to post weird, mysterious, FB statuses, but I am saying call on a friend. Be vulnerable. I know you might say, “different strokes for different folks,” but the fact is God calls us to community. We need one another! Don’t wait for someone to magically “remember” your hard day. Invite someone in. Maybe it’s someone you know really well, or maybe it’s someone who “knows” what you’re going through because they’ve experienced something similar.

I know this is a longer post than usual, but I hope that it encourages you on some level today… or on your no-good-rotten day! He can REDEEM your Friday!

—

If you don’t know our whole story, here’s a link to the book, Dancing On My Ashes. OR Go here for to purchase the book !

Father’s Day thoughts while jogging through a cemetery

June 12, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / Leave a comment

by Heather Spring

Just another day, jogging through a graveyard. Have you done it? I would highly recommend it. Bucket list, people!

Dallas and I don’t always run together. If you’ve seen my husband you could probably gather why: he’s TALL. For his one stride, I gotta do two.

Well, Daddy Loooong Legs and I decided to take a trot together while spending some time in his hometown. There’s nothing like learning a little more about the one you love.

“Up this way my grandpa used to bring us to this creek to hunt crawdads.”

“Really?” huff… puff… “That’s sweet.”

“That house right there,” pointing to his left, “I was babysat there.

I responded with a simple smile. (He understood… we were running uphill.)

“I mowed that lawn. And that one…” “And there used to be an old rickety bridge over there…” “There was this time my friends and I made a scavenger hunt and hid a clue over in that barn…”

On and on, I learned a little more about my husband. I enjoyed the glimpses of the little boy who once was. A graveyard hung to our right. “When we circle around we could go through the graveyard,” He said.

“You want to run through,” putt, putt, “…the cemetery? That seems…” pant, “…a bit strange,” huff, “…to run by dead people? Kinda feels like we’re bragging.”

“I think it’s fine,” he says with complete ease, “I’ll show you where my grandparents’ are buried.”

That changed everything. “I’d like that. Tell me more about them.” I finally said without any strain because… AHHHH… we were headed downhill!

“My grandpa was the quiet type. My grandma was a lot like your grandma…” He continued sharing details about each one. I enjoyed picturing them in their prime.

We made our way through the cemetery. Rows and rows of tombstones–each representing a life. A life that at one time could have been doing exactly what we were doing that afternoon. Feeling the warmth of the sun’s heat, oxygen racing in and out of our lungs, with the wind pressing lightly on our backs and the ground pounding underfoot with every step.

We weren’t far removed from Memorial Day so flowers were prevalent and gravestones looked a little less dusty. (Of course, I figured out how to run AND take a picture. Maybe I’ll blame that on my speed.) I saw the name before Dallas had a chance to point it out: GILION.

We paused and stood there for a few moments as we talked about this couple. I unfortunately did not have the pleasure of meeting them on this earth. But I’m thankful for and feel connected to them, just the same. I look forward to the day I can say, “Thank you.” You see, I know and love their son, Earnie. He’s my Daddy Long Legs’ Daddy. Earnie is such a good one at that. A good husband. A good friend. A good father-in-law. A good Papa. So, let me rephrase… He’s a GREAT man. I’m constantly thankful for the heritage that Dallas and I experienced as children. Our parents weren’t and aren’t perfect, but they love(d) their God! And this heritage of faith has shaped each of us as we now, in commitment, have come together, striving to pour into our boys the truth of the gospel and how it brings freedom, hope, and a chance to experience real love.

You know, sometimes we are born into great families and sometimes we’re not. It is what it is. There’s nothing one does or doesn’t do to deserve this. The sovereignty of God is such a mystery. But even though I was welcomed into such a great heritage, (a foundation with Christ-our Rock underfoot), I still had to accept HIS invitation and take ownership of His inheritance and continue to build on this Rock. Would I squander this gift or continue to build? I had examples all before me, but I still had a choice to pick up the hammer. And yet, there are so many others, that would say they were born into a family who’s dysfunction and cycles look more like a house that is on the brink of collapse. And to you I say… the building can BEGIN with you! He gives grace upon grace to enable you to begin building. With God, you will raise new walls that break old cycles of pain and selfishness. This can only be accomplished through the power of God, but with Him all things are possible. ALL THINGS! My dad was a first generation builder! May your voice begin the echo which will be heard for generations and generations.

…showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Exodus 20:6)

So, I guess as we approach Father’s Day, I share all this with you for a couple of reasons. First of all, maybe some of you need a little perspective. Maybe you need to take a stroll through a graveyard. What house are you building? What stands as your foundation? Maybe strolling through a cemetery will resurrect something in you.

I also write this for those that have had to say good-bye to their earthly daddies. We’re in the same club, you and I. Here’s a little hand-squeeze from me to you. {squeeze} I feel your pain, because that ache rises up within me as I think about my daddy. But in all of my remembrances of his life, what motivates me the most is what I believe he would say to me now. “Go! Build! Love your God, Heather! Love Him with all your heart, and soul, and mind!” In honor of my father and the fathers in my life that love God well, I build, praying for this generation to the next to heed the call to follow hard after a God that is our Ultimate Daddy… a Father to the fatherless.

And who knows, maybe some day my grandson’s wife will stand at my grave asking, “Tell me about Dallas and Heather. What were they like?” I want the response to be, “Heather might’ve been a little loopy, but she and Dallas strived to love their God with all their heart, mind, and soul. You could really see Him in both of them.”

Happy Father’s Day! Celebrate the Daddy’s in your life and your ULTIMATE DADDY!

… choose this day whom YOU will serve… But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD!” (Joshua 24:15)

I wrote a special post a couple of years ago about ALL the dads in my life. If you want to read my tribute go here!

Give it away. Give it away. Give it away, now! The Results!

May 23, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 3 Comments

I would say, “And the winners are…” but you’re all winners in my book! Cheesy? Yes, it is. But cheese is good on almost everything, right? Or is that bacon? Hmmmm…. bacon….

Ok, I’m back! Just got me some cheesy bacon to munch on.

Before I get to my announcement, can I say: Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting over the last few weeks. On this side of the screen, I’ve been encouraged by all the messages and comments I’ve received about what God is revealing in hearts! And the Lord continues to speak sweetly over me, that this isn’t the half of it!

I’ve had some sweet times in prayer over you, reader. I might not know you by name, but God does… and that’s more than enough. His Word NEVER returns void. There’s always beauty that emerges when people believe and trust Him at His Word. So, I’m choosing today to believe what 2 Timothy 1:7 says: We have not been given a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND!

The second thing I want to highlight, before I go any further, is this: I’m so proud of my lovely assistant, Mr. Noah, who has been my model in this series! He has done a great job portraying the themes by his facial expressions and body language! He’s a HOOT and a half! So, there’s a shout out to my first born for being willing and so stinkin’ cute!

Ready to get to it? Sheesh, I am! I’ve been announcing the tar out of this. People in fb-land are ready to defriend me… EEK!

Gift #1: The Great Exchange CD along with Heroes Coffee

Doesn’t this look like a great way to spend your morning? I mean who doesn’t want to put on over-sized headphones and soak in some GREAT tunes? Your Heroes Coffee can be brewing while you take in the album’s first song: “beauty for these ashes.” Friends, the first time I heard this song I couldn’t hold back the tears. Tyler was singing MY SONG! Only God can take the ashes of your life and make beauty come from it! Some of you can truly relate… you’re nodding right now, aren’t you?! Others of you are thinking, “I want Him to do that for me!” Oh-me-oh-my… HE CAN AND HE WILL if you let Him. That’s another blog for another day. (Or check out what our book’s about if you haven’t!) Who is capable of such a thing? Seriously!? Our God… that’s who! You are gonna L-O-V-E the first track and the second and the third…! (By the way, after I told The Great Exchange what I was up to they donated this cd to our giveaway! Now that’s good people, right there!)

Drum roll please…..

GIFT NUMBER UNO GOES TO: “thearthurz”

So, don’t be a sore loser if you didn’t win, you can still get a copy through itunes or on their website: www.thegreatexchangeband.com!

•••

Gift #2: Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, along with Heroes Coffee!

Look at my 6-year-old reading a devotional and drinking a cup of Heroes coffee! (That’s his second one this morning!) Oh, how I’ve poured over the pages in this book. Anytime I open it, I feel as if Jesus, Himself, has nestled Himself in next to me. And as He speaks, the world becomes dim as the eyes of my heart once again aligns with Truth. And Truth, my friend, sets you and I… FREE!

You can get this book anywhere and everywhere! So, if your name was not drawn out of the hat this time, (and that’s exactly how we did it) you can be a happy loser and go purchase a copy for your little ole self. (Here’s a link to the book on amazon.)

Can I get another drum roll, please…..

GIFT NUMBER DOS (two… for those of you who don’t speak Spanish) GOES TO: “Ashley O.”

•••

Thanks for journeying with us on here! It’s been an encouragement to my heart and soul to see how many people are sharing our blog with others. We are seeking to be obedient to what He’s asked of us, to be His voice of Hope and real Love in this dark world! Happy to link arms with each and every one of you as we strive to love our God LOUD!

Until the next post, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13)

“thearthurz” and “Ashley O.”, email me your addresses privately at hgilion@lifepointozark.com, pretty please and I’ll get you your winnings! Hooray!

Fear? Goodness, no! {part 3: A SOUND MIND} & GIVEAWAY

May 16, 2013May 16, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 46 Comments

So here we go! The conclusion to our discussion based on 2 Timothy 1:7. If this is your first time to our blog and you’re scratching your head, “Conclusion? I just got here!” Feel free to backtrack to {part 1: POWER}, and then hit {part 2: LOVE}. But if you are the rebellious type and you don’t like me telling you what to do, that’s totally fine. No problem, friend, read on. I promise, I won’t try and make you feel like you’ve stumbled into a conversation mid-way through.

2 Timothy 1:7, sing it with me:

In this post I’m tackling the third gift… A SOUND MIND.

Do any of you feel like you have anything BUT a Sound Mind?? (Ladies, maybe just once a month? No? Then I shall study your ways.)

Do you ever feel like you are out of control? You put the “Cra” in Crazy? I’ve heard some mom’s refer to it as “baby brain”—forgetful, irrational, crying about nothing, and yelling about everything! Sure, let’s blame it on the innocent. (I couldn’t blame crazy brain on them before they entered this world, maybe I should suck-it-up and not do it now.) All joking aside, there is some truth to it. You add together aging, along with a few bundles of joy, countless sleepless nights, years of aspartame, and you’re bound to feel like your brain isn’t quite firing on all cylinders. They say with more grays comes wisdom, but I see it as growing wise to the fact that you’re losing it! Did I just use shampoo or was that the conditioner… darn it, maybe I should just start all over?!

My Mom: “If I tell you the same story over and over, will you just stop me?” She’s been telling us that recently over and over. Just kidding, Momma! You’re all good!

{*Sidenote: The mind is a powerful gift God has given us, and I might be having fun poking at the reality of what aging naturally does to us, but I’m in no way speaking about mental illness, etc. Just want to make that clear.}

So, what does He mean by “sound mind” anyway?

A sound mind means a disciplined and self-controlled mind. In other words, God did not have it purposed that defeat should be the norm of your Christian walk. We should be disciplined Christians rather than slaves to our emotions. Now, living with a sound mind will not happen in our strength or by believing we’ve got the right mojo to make it happen, rather, we have been gifted with this mind. Now choosing to live using this gift… that’s up to us.

Our mind must be engaged, fixed and focused, and at all times seeking to align ourselves to the gospel of Jesus Christ. John MacArthur said that we’ve been given a sound mind to “focus and apply every part of our lives according to His will.”

Wired by the Creator God, Himself, we at times drip, trickle, slop, and spill out with emotions; but emotional living is not how we are to live. We sometimes make decisions out of fear and anxiety when we’re operating in self-preservation mode or when we “feel” good or bad—that’s not the voice that should control our next step.

We all experience fluctuating feelings, but if you haven’t focused and applied your life, circumstances, dreams and fears to what is said in His Word revealed by His Spirit, then you are not going to make sound, disciplined decision. “You’re not using your noggin’!” as my Dad would affectionately say, while (lightly) knuckling my head.

Are you weak, tired, drained, empty, lost or disengaged? How are you responding based on how you feel? This is an opportunity to take Him at His Word whether you “feel” like it or not—to make a CHOICE (like I talked about in {part 2}) to live in

HIS POWER,
HIS LOVE,
AND HIS SOUND MIND.

Q: So if having a sound mind means that we are to be disciplined, controlled, and sound in our decisions, how does fear steal our discipline? How does anxiety and insecurity rob our minds?

A: Anxiety leads you to make rash decisions. Fear makes you explain away what He’s called you to, due to fear of actually having to do it, fear of the unknown, fear of what others might say, or fear of failure. Fear leads us to unbelief and distrust in His Words and His commands. Instead, we set our path based on how we feel.

For those of you that like to talk to yourself, here’s a great passage just for you!
(High-five, peeps, we’re NOT crazy, after all!)

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.” (Psalm 42:5)

Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a little stern talking to by addressing our very souls! And that’s why I love this verse so much! It’s saying, “Insert your name here, why are you down? Why are you distraught? Why are you fearful… worried… anxious?” This is where the pep talk comes into play: “Stop it! HOPE IN GOD!”

We need to hear truth whether it’s from one another or from ourselves—CONSTANTLY!

May today we converse with our ever-present God, asking Him to continue to teach us how to live aligning our minds to His Will and asking for peace to reign when we feel crazy, anxious, or tempted to make our own happy. May we choose to live based on TRUTH rather than feelings.

Sooo… speaking of putting Truth in our ears, hearts, and minds, it’s time to explain our GIVEAWAYS! I chose these specifically because you’ll be able to use them as pep talks for your soul! Here’s what’s up for the taking.

•••

TWO GIFTS for TWO WINNERS:

#1: The Great Exchange is a band that I think is fantastic! I would love to give away their CD, “We Are The Branches”. I do happen to know the lead singer, Tyler Greene, he’s our worship leader at Lifepoint Church. Not trying to brag or anything, but after you hear him and hear his heart, you’ll see why I sound like I’m bragging. We are a blessed community! The lyrics on this album are full of the Word and the Word never disappoints or returns void. Check out these dudes: http://www.thegreatexchangeband.com/

#2: Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, is a devotional that Holly and I received from a gal in a church we spoke at in Illinois last year (you know who you are). What a treasure this book has been to me in my personal time with the Lord! If you haven’t heard of it, it’s written as if Jesus was speaking to you. He is a personal God, and this is such a sweet reminder of that intimacy that He longs to have with us. Again, Word-based. There’s a theme here, isn’t there? I’d love to give one away!

AND THAT’S NOT ALL! Along with #1 and #2 the winners will receive a bag of coffee from my favorite roastery: Heroes Coffee! Woah, now I’ve got your attention! “Wake Up. Do Good. Repeat.” That’s their slogan! Heroes Coffee Company is a gourmet wholesale roaster in Springfield, Missouri. I didn’t like coffee until I had their coffee! Plus, the owners happen to be friends and neighbors of mine! (If you’re a weirdo and don’t like coffee—been there—it’ll still be a sweet gift to a coffee-lover you know!) Why coffee? Just helps to be awake when we are living out this POWER, LOVE, AND SOUND MIND!

THIS IS HOW YOU ENTER:

1. Subscribe to our blog, would you? We’re a big fan of God’s Word and we believe in sharing the gospel, and this is one way we do it. We strive to share a little something every three weeks or so. We’ll try not to annoy you.

2. Share this blog post. I know this particular post is the conclusion, but I believe the Lord will use it however He so chooses. Pray as you share…

3. After you’ve shared it, leave a comment below that you’ve shared it and which prize that you would like to win:
#1 The Great Exchange CD along with Heroes Coffee or
#2 Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, along with Heroes Coffee!
(It’ll be fair and square… picked by a random drawing.)

I’ll announce the winners of GIFT #1 & GIFT #2 on Thursday 5/23! You’ve got a week: Ready, set, GO!

Fear? Goodness, no! {part 2: LOVE}

May 13, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 2 Comments

by Heather Spring

If you missed {part 1: POWER}, obviously it’s not too late to catch up. Close your eyes and tap your shoes together three times and say, “There’s no place like part 1. There’s no place like part 1.” That should get you there… or press here.

You all remember the song that I taught you that my dad taught me?

Let’s sing together:

“For God has not given us the spirit of FEAR (scary face here!), but of

POWER, AND LOVE, AND A SOUND SOUND MIND!”

2 Timothy 1:7

I’m going to attempt to tackle the second gift He’s given… LOVE!

You’ve heard that there are three different love types: Eros love (known as the physical, sensual love between a husband and wife—bow chicka bow wow, as I like to call it), Phileo love (based on friendship between two people), and Agape love (unconditional, sacrificial love).

In 2 Timothy 1:7, the “love” that’s been “given” to us is agape love… the highest and ultimate form of love!

I have to chuckle when I hear Agape love referred to as brotherly love. Listen, I am raising two brothers and you’ve got to know, I’ve got story after story on this one. I’ve seen them peg one another in the head with matchbox cars only to have the injured scold me for scolding the offender. Between all the wedgies and sword-fights-gone-too-far, I see a protective, steadfast, ever-growing love they display for one another.

But agape love is so much more than that.

Agape arrived on this earth and walked around in sandals. You could touch Agape, smell Agape, and listen to Agape. Agape was so unique and refreshing, that droves of people would follow Him around taking in this otherness. And after living perfectly, and always loving just right, Agape laid down His life. “Oh, Agape, how much you truly love us!”

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

And guess what? He has given those that believe in Him this same LOVE… Agape planted within our very hearts. Consider it a wedding gift! What extravagance! It’s one thing for Him to be that incredible and just downright “other,” but WE are given this same spirit of love? Unfortunately, it’s a gift we squander away or are satisfied to “love” when it benefits us. We love with me at the center. That’s not agape love.

You see, real agape love is a love that’s a without-strings-attached-or-hidden-agenda kind of love. It is selfless and it is a choice. It is “the noblest kind of devotion, the love of the will (intentional, a conscious choice) and not motivated by superficial appearance, emotional attraction, or sentimental relationship.”

It is a decisive love.

As a teen, I remember my dad telling me that every day he chose to love my mom. I was floored! I was horrified! It made me angry! To be honest, I felt sorry for my mom. I thought, “You have to CHOOSE to LOVE her? What kind of marriage is that? Well, I don’t want one of those!”

Oh… but I’ve since then eaten those words (with a little salt and ketchup) because that’s the kind of marriage that works, that thrives, that lasts, that grows, that satisfies, and that mirrors Jesus. I’m not saying that marriage doesn’t consist of Eros (a little Marvin Gaye on repeat) and Phileo (“I’m giddy that you love music as much as I do!” Insert wild clapping!). I’m just saying most days we’ve got to both land on this agape, decisive and sacrificial love, or we’ll be left frustrated and selfishly pining for something or someone else to fill our love reservoir.

But this CHOICE is not just for the husband and wife. It is for EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HAVE. No one is excluded here. Agape is even for your worst enemy… ouch, that stings a bit! It is not in us to naturally agape love another. We’re selfish by nature. But God says, “I have given you power, (Agape) LOVE, and a sound mind.” If you CHOOSE to live out this agape love, you will be:

Agape-ing when you don’t “feel” like it.
Agape-ing when it costs you everything and promises nothing.
Agape-ing those that annoy you.
Agape-ing those that you are tempted to look down on.
Agape-ing people that have wounded you.
Agape-ing people, that if you were to be honest, you just don’t like.
(Oh, now I need to stop and pray for a bit… convicted!)

So, this Scripture says, “He hasn’t given us the spirit of fear… but of love.”

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18)

Let me tell you how fear comes in and steals you from loving in this God-like manner.

When you struggle with comparing yourself to others, you won’t be able to really love them. You won’t. (Any Bookface-ers or Interestingpinners struggling in this area?) If comparison has got your number, you’ll be too busy feeding thoughts of jealousy and self-doubt to agape others. You will struggle with confidence when you are full of jealousy, envy, and suspicion. You will struggle with freedom in Christ when you continue playing the victim card. And all of this stems from fear! When you are fearful, you live out of self-preservation mode, everything in you fighting for what satisfies you, what makes you “happy” and “whole.” When you are fear-driven, you’ll be defensive and will come against whoever seemingly threatens your happiness… even God. So it’s easier to look at others as competition instead of seeing the Jesus in them. And you can’t love when you view others as competition.

Even within the church walls, we can find ourselves competing with one another, tearing one another down because we are feeling threatened by others’ giftings, roles, or “blessings.” Jealousy robs us from joining together as one body to fulfill the plans of God. Can we stop, for one second, and see the unique qualities of God Himself in the eyes, hands, feet, laughter, and presence of the ones on our right and left? They are not our competition, rather, they are God-made masterpieces that we are called to love… agape style. Ladies, we can be the worst at falling into this trap! Sister in Christ, may I make a plea to you: we are on the same team! Start encouraging, sharpening, and speaking truth into one another, fostering unity! (Ok, stepping off my soapbox now.)

You want power, freedom, and peace?

1. Pray against the spirit of fear that so easily comes to rob you, and love decisively, CHOOSING to use the very gift of love that has been embedded in your heart. You don’t have to be insecure. You don’t have to be jealous. You don’t have to compare. You don’t have to live off the fumes of half-hearted-me-centered-love; you’ve got the gas! Now rev up that engine and agape the way Christ has fueled your sweet, little heart to do so.

2. Don’t let your eyes leave the cross. I’m serious. Pop a squat and don’t get up. Do you get this love that was demonstrated on the cross… for you… for others? May we see every relationship from our past, our present, and our future, through the cross, and then we’ll be asking: How can we not love?

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

•••

Get ready for {part 3: A SOUND MIND}! I’ll post this conclusion to our series THURSDAY (5/16)! Maybe all this has been just for me. If so, I’m good with that. But I do hope and pray it’s been an encouragement to you as well. Feel free to share this with anyone that may be encouraged by this post! By the way, I’m pumped about the giveaway… EEK! I love surprises!

Fear? Goodness, no! {part 1: POWER}

May 9, 2013May 9, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 5 Comments

by Heather Spring

There’s a new book that’s been an instant favorite around this joint:

Pete the Cat: Rocking in My School Shoes

It’s main theme is having confidence throughout the day, come what may. A repetitive line in it goes like this: “Does Pete worry? Goodness, no!”

I’ve been thinking about what life would feel like FREE from worry, fear, anxiety, and insecurity. God’s doing a new thing in me. I want it said of me: “Does Heather worry? Goodness, no!” Do I believe that can be a reality? Yes, yes, I do. More and more every day. But… I do know what it feels like to be in the grip of fear, only to end up a coward. I’ve also drank the waste-your-days-in-worry-kool-aid, unfortunately I awoke faced with unchanged circumstances that tempted me to fill up my glass with more of the same. My fears have kept me from really loving people, trusting others, and ultimately trusting God.

Do you know how many times the Bible says: “Fear Not”?

It is said that there are 366 “Fear not’s” in the Bible—one for every day of the year, including Leap Year! God doesn’t want us to go a single day without hearing His word of comfort: “Fear not!”

I think there are a few reasons God has to repeat Himself when it comes to the subject of fear:

1. We are a fearful, anxious people (a.k.a. a bunch of scaredy cats). If you are sitting there all proud, murmuring to yourself, “I’m not anxious. I’m not scared of anything!” Then you’re worse off than the rest of us, for you are even too scared to admit your “scaredness” to yourself. There… I said it, you’re welcome. We all have heard horrific stories of what others have gone through that have left us speechless. The fact is, we fear losing what we love. We love people. We have dreams we’re fond of. We desire comfort and a life of ease, and there are numerous, possible scenarios that threaten these things we call precious.

2. We are not home. It’s like we know our address but somehow we can’t escape the reality that we’ve been left bunking with our crazy uncle who’s hell-bent on not following the rules and indifferent to the fact his snuggly, cuddly blanky is filthy and the pacifier he’s joyfully sucking on is actually a grenade. He blissfully drifts off to la-la-land to escape this hopeless chaos. Our “now” is messed up, I don’t have to tell you that. This world is broken and it isn’t our home.

3. There are just some things that we have to be told over and over and over again. Like “don’t chew with your mouth open,” or “wash your hands after you use the restroom,” or “please, don’t pass gas at the dinner table.” (I live with boys, enough said.) “Don’t fear” falls into God’s category of musts in repetitive instruction.

Here are a few examples of this repetition of care and love for us:

Are you fearful about your future?
“Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you” (Gen. 26:24)

Moms & dads, are you fearful about providing for your family?
“So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” (Gen. 50:21)

College students, teens, men, and women:
Are you fearful of what can happen if you go against the crowd?
“Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord,” (Exodus 14:13)

Are you anxious about what He’s called you to?
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6)

Christ followers, we have one voice saying: “Don’t fear, be SECURE & CONFIDENT in the One that lives IN you!” And then we have this other voice that is saying quite the opposite, don’t we? “The accuser of the brethren” wants to cause you to doubt, waver, question, and live trapped in insecurity. He delights when you are uncertain of who you are and what you are capable of!

As a little girl, my dad taught me 2 Timothy 1:7 in song form. I bet you want to hear it don’t you?

Here it is…

Let me paraphrase this verse in 2 Timothy: “This spirit of fear that you have, yeah, that’s not of Him… but let me tell you WHAT IS FROM HIM: Three ah-mazing gifts…

POWER, LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND.

I’m going to break this verse down in three separate blog posts.
In {part 1}, I want to spend time on this first gift that we’ve been given that combats fear: POWER. And {part 2} I’ll expand on LOVE. And finally {part 3}: A SOUND MIND + a chance to enter a giveaway. Whoop whoop!

So the first gift: POWER

The Greek translation is “Dunamis” (doo’-nahm-is): strength power, ability
It comes from the word Dynamite! I LOVE THIS!

I truly believe, we don’t need more of Him—we need less of us! When you invite Christ in, He’s not just a little in, He’s ALL IN! And this ALL includes a power that can only be associated with dynamite! Boom!

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…”(Acts 1:8)

We have received this POWER, supernatural, out of this world, power—the same power that raised Christ from the dead—and He LIVES IN US! (Romans 8:11). How in is He? He’s ALL IN? And how secure can we be? Completely Secure! Why? Because we can muster up this power? Goodness, no! Because, we’ve got HIS power pulsing through our veins, making us courageous, fueling our fire, engaging a supernatural strength that has everything to do with His IN-ness! (I’m typing so fast I’m making up words now!)

“His divine POWER has given us everything we need for a godly life…” (2 Peter 1:3)

What do we have to fear? Who can come against us?

Nobody.

No one.

Not a single soul.

Nothing in this world or out of this world!

Does that not make you feel a little bit stronger? A little more confident? Does it make you want to do courageous things for the glory of God? It should!

And here we are missing out, living locked up and shaken up—fearful in our todays and doubting He’ll be with us in our tomorrows.

All the while, He most adamantly says, “I’M ALL IN! Why are you insecure? Why are you fearful? MY SPIRIT LIVES IN YOU!”

So when I’m lacking the power and living in fear, plagued by insecurities, worrying my life away, living out of self-preservation – it is my choice!

Do you need to fear? Goodness, no!

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

**{part 2: LOVE} will be posted on Monday (5/13).
{part 3: A SOUND MIND} will be posted on Thursday (5/16).
So, if you haven’t subscribed this would be a great time to do so! You’ll receive the new posts in your little virtual mailbox. Ok? There’s my plug. You totally don’t want to miss out on the giveaway! Plus, there’s so much more in this Scripture to discuss!

Hiding

April 11, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 6 Comments

by Heather Spring

After Zachariah wakes from his afternoon nap there are a series of events that follow.

The very first thing: “I hungry, Mom!” SNACK TIME!

The next: “Let’s play cars!” CAR TIME!

The other day, after bringing him his snack I left the room to change over some laundry. A few minutes later I called out to him, “Are you done, Zach? You ready to go play with your cars?”

There was no response. So I walked into the living room and saw him hunched down behind the arm of the couch. “Wacky Zachy Dean, come on, let’s go play with your cars upstairs!” Silence. “You know you want to!” I said playfully. His response, “I’m hiding, Mom.”

“Hiding? Why? You want me to find you?”

“No.”

“Buddy, I want to play with you.” It brought back memories of when we were potty training. Both my boys would always “hide” in hopes to evade the dreaded number two. So, I thought, just in case, I’d ask, “Do you need to go poopie?”

“Nope. I’m just hiding.”

I let it go a few minutes more before I began my next tactic… the lure. “Zach,” I called out to him at the top of the stairs, “I’m upstairs looking at your cars. Do you want to join me? Come see some of the cars I’ve got lined up here.” Surely, that will seal the deal.

“I’m hiding.”

Hmmm… If that didn’t get him running over himself to get upstairs, there was obviously something HE was hiding.

I decided to investigate a little more thoroughly. “Hiding, huh? Well, I think I can find you.” I could see the top of his brown-hair poking out from around the arm of the couch. As I knelt down next to him, “You weren’t hiding very well…” And then as I took in my next breath, my investigation was complete. I could “smell” why he was hiding. “Zachy?” I patted him on the bottom, “You poopied in your pants!?” My fully-potty-trained-3-year-old had momentarily forgotten the sequence of events that are supposed to happen when one needs to “go.”

Rushing him to the bathroom, he continued to deny the evidence.

Zach had made a mistake… you could say, he went “toot” far. And his fear of Mom’s wrath led him into hiding and denial. (I’m that scary, people!)

Reminds me of a conversation I’ve read many many times.

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” (Genesis 3: 8-10)

Adam and Eve had a lot in common with my Zachariah. Because of fear they went into hiding. Playing with matchbox cars wasn’t on the top of their list, but strolling and conversing with their Creator God was. And just like Zach, these two had a nugget in their drawers—they had eaten from the only tree in the Garden that was off-limits.

God: “Where are you two?”

A & E: “We’re hiding.”

God: “Well, that’s silly. It’s a beautiful day for a stroll, don’t you think? Let’s walk and talk.”

A & E: “We’re hiding.”

Adam and Eve’s shame over the sin they had committed kept them in hiding. They weren’t very good at hiding either. He could probably see their little heads ducking behind the trees as they tried to stand as still as they could. Our hiding keeps us from dealing head on with the issue we’ve made between us. No matter what has caused us to go into hiding, nothing is too “bad” that we need to stay tucked behind trees or a couch.

So here’s the gist of my lesson learned… are you ready? Don’t let the poop get in between you and God.

God wants to show us that if we present ourselves to Him, our mess and all, that our relationship can be immediately restored as we confess and as He reminds us of His tree. He says, “If you are looking to hide, I have a great spot. You can hide behind my tree… the cross.” If we have put our faith in Him we are IN Him… we are covered by what happened on His tree. So if you’re going to hide, hide there and only there, for the cross of Christ frees us to enjoy that same relationship that Adam and Eve began in the Garden.

So… come out, come out, wherever you are! May we not miss moments with Him due to our shame, guilt, pride, and sin. He’s bigger than all that stuff.

Zach learned that although I wasn’t happy that it happened, (and, yes, he gets that I don’t want him filling his britches anytime he wants), ultimately, I love him and nothing he does is worth breaking our relationship. Nothing. There’s moments to be had together, adventures to share, cars to be driven. I am called to train him up into a successful human being. Part of that training requires moments where discipline is a healthy part of our relationship. But even then love is at the heart of my no’s, do’s, don’t do’s, tearful talks, and consequences. I long for him to understand, even in those moments, that he doesn’t have to let mistakes rob us of sweet time together. He should never let the poop come between us.

Dancing On My Ashes | The Story

January 4, 2013January 6, 2013 / dancingonmyashes / 19 Comments

2000 was a life changing year for us. There were moments we didn’t know if we would survive, but God’s love rescued our hearts. For those out there that are hurting, confused, angry… there is hope. Real hope! Our lives are evidence of that hope and a God that is real and His love that’s healing.

Feel free to connect with us on our facebook page: DancingOnMyAshes

To order the book:

Amazon
Tate Publishing

Video made by: Rob Lyons Productions